Dating, what to share right away and what to keep hidden until further dates?

I'm very inexperienced in the dating game. I'm pretty much an open book, and I don't like to withhold secrets, especially not when we're trying to get to know each other. However, I get the impression that the guys I've been talking with withholds details about themselves, to keep things interesting. I agree that people exes are not supposed to be mentioned, although some guys have no problem mentioning some little unrelevant things about their exes. And I was fine with that, too.

But other than exes, what do you usually share right away on the first or second date, and what should you keep hidden until, say, 5th date or until you're officially together?

And guys, how do you feel about girls who don't hide anything? Who always answers every question about her right away, and who tells you about her family and childhood in the first date right away?

Personally, I hate games. Why do people "filter" these details about themselves? Of course, if it's about sex then sure, don't tell everything right away, but other than sex and exes and difficult experiences in the past, I would not hesitate to share everything on the first date. No masks either, just me being me. What do you think about this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's because if you tell someone all your details upfront, there's not much else to talk about down the road. The best thing to do to keep things exciting and fun is to just go with the flow and not reveal too much about your personal self just yet.

    Keep hidden, try to keep some mystery. Let a guy guess who you are and what you are about. Being an onion not a banana. Onions have layers and depth, whereas bananas are just a peel. You can peel the banana and instantly see what you have inside. An onion has layers and you have to keep peeling the layers back to get to the middle. That's a silly analogy but it's basically illustrating my point. You want to have depth and character. Allow a person to get to know you and explore all your layers.

    If you show yourself to the person too soon, the novelty wears off. Be the onion! :P


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What Guys Said 1

  • Keep everything light, funny, and positive. No heavy subjects. No talk about past ex's. Getting to know somebody is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself. Move slow. Only bring up things that will rise your dates interest level, not lower it.


What Girls Said 0

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