Should I ignore my ex?

I recently got out of my first relationship about 3 months ago. We dated about a year. I'm 23, he's 27. I broke up with him because I couldn't see a future with him. He's a great guy, treated me well, etc, but it just didn't work out.

We decided to try and stay friends after, which didn't work out well, so we cut down our contact to about 1-2 times a week max.

The other day he called me to tell me to ask me if he still has a chance with me at all, I said no, so he proceeded to tell me how he's going out on a date with some girl who asked him out and wanted to make sure there was nothing left between us, because if I had said yes, he wouldn't go. Apparantly this girl is a friend of his who always had a thing for him but recently revealed it after we broke up.

Obviously, I was heartbroken but I told him to have a great time and I wished him the best of luck.

The past week has been hell for me, imagining him out on that date. The jealousy, the comparisons, everything that comes with finding out someone you still have feelings for is out there dating again. But I also know that he deserves happiness and so I decided to stop contacting him (which was very difficult, he became my best friend in so many ways). I deleted my FB temporarily so I could take some time for myself and focus on school, etc. Just as I was beginning to see the light again, and pull myself out of my depression, I received a text from him saying "I just wanted to let you know that I didn't go through with that date. I'm still not over you, I'm not ready yet." Initially, it made me happy...but then,


Now what.

Should I just completely ignore him, cut the cord, rip off the band aid, etc or go back into this ridiculous cycle with him?

I'm trying to make this clean and painless, but it gets very confusing sometimes. I don't want to be the b*** who dumped him and refused to talk to him afterward.

According to him (he's had a few girlfriends before me), he really thought I was the one, and is really broken up about me.

Plus, I don't believe in burning bridges.

But part of me thinks it would be best for him (even if he doesn't see it right away) too.

I've never had a relationship before him, let alone a breakup. What is the "right" thing to do in this situation? Ignore him, forcing him and myself to get over each other completely, or still maintain contact?

Getting back together with him is NOT an option. Just too many differences, too many conflicts for us to work.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If it's not working out as friends than cutt him completely because it's only going to hurt him if he still isn't over you.

    • thank you. I'm leaning in that direction too. You don't think it's cruel? Should I give him an explanation or just just do it?

    • You can give him a brief explanation and just say "Hey look, I've tried being your friend but obviously it's not bettering our situation so let's just take a break from talking to each other" something along those lines so you don't have to be to harsh but let him know

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  • Just let him slowly fade from your memories. Time to move on.

  • Cut him out, you need closure