What should I do about my mom & my boyfriend??

I met a guy name of Jesse & he's 19 he's white, I'm turning 19 in 3 weeks I'm black & during the summer we broke up after a couple of dates because he wanted friends with benefits & I was & still am a virgin & I wanted a relationship! We wanted two different things & so we broke up :( I was heartbroken because I really liked him, he made me happy, he was my first guy! He gave me my first kiss! We went our separate ways! I started dating a guy who turned out to be an abusive a**hole & he left a month into our relationship! I was so relieved! 2 months later Jesse texted me saying that he's sorry & that he made a mistake, he beg & said that he wanted a relationship! After thinking about it I said yes :) he's been treating me right & things are wonderful :) but my mom is a big problem! She doesn't know anything about our dating, she's never met Jesse, but she has seen me with him & now she hates him! She thinks he's just a white redneck with nothing & no like! She thinks he's ugly & she's threatening to disown me & throw me out :( I've lived a sheltered life, I don't know how to survive out in the real world! I love him & my mom & I don't want to lose either of them! What should I do!?!


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What Guys Said 1

  • No one should be forced to make choices like this! Is there anyone else in the family who has some clout with your mom who is likely to be more open-minded? You could introduce Jesse to that person to see if you can get an ally on your side. A family member might help your mother see that cutting people out of your life works both ways. Even if you give in this time, sooner or later she will disapprove again and she risks losing you forever.

    At 18-19, your mom doesn't have a say in who you date but I realize that it's much more complicated than that. It suggests to me that you should start working now towards a goal where you can live on your own so that she doesn't completely control your life. In the worst case scenario would Jesse wait for you to become independent?


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