Online Dating - Is he interested?

I have tried online dating for the first time. I am in my forties and connected with a guy of a similar age online. We exchanged some really good emails over a period of a week, he decided to leave the site (I must admit it was pretty awful) and he gave me his telephone number with the option to text him, he said he did not give out his number randomly. I texted him after a few days to say hi how are you. He is a police sergeant (which I know is true), so it's a really draining and stressful job working in one of the roughest parts of London. He have exchanged a few texts, always seems to be working and then he suggested meeting up for a drink, I said that sounds like a good plan. We have never spoken and I made the suggestion that we do before meeting and it makes texting a bit more personal. He said he would call me a few days ago via a text message when he gets a quiet moment as he was on duty. Two days have passed and I have not heard a thing. I must admit I have initiated more of the texts that he has. I really don't understand what is going on, I am not used to modern dating, split up with my boyfriend of 8 years about one year ago and now I am back on the scene. Does this mean he is not interested or is he just playing around, like a kind of ego thing with no intention. He is separated and is staying with friends. I really don't know what to make of this. I take it the man is the hunter and the woman is the hunted... maybe he has found me overbearing. Don't know what to think...! aargh ...


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think you should dwell on worst case scenarios. I can't assure you that he is still interested but I don't think the lack of a text suggests that he never was. He wouldn't have given his number out if he had no interest. Unfortunately his comment about texting was vague. It's not clear how long it's reasonable to wait for his reply. It does bring up a concern to me whether he really has the time or energy for dating. One possibility if you don't hear from him in for an excessively long time is to text him and say that if he's too busy to meet with you, you won't hold it against him. It's a polite way to get him to take action or expect you to go on your way.

    I'm not so sure that the rules for dating are all that clear to anyone anymore. You are no more or less lost than most of us!

    • Thanks Talloak. You are right, a bit more positive thinking. I have the same concerns,I think he is genuine and does want to date but I think his job plays a massive part in things, that has crossed my mind a few times. I will send the message after some time passes (well worded thanks!) if I have not heard anything - for me that will give a sense of purpose and direction.

      Modern dating... aaarg! If I may ask what is your idea of "exccessive time passing"

    • I don't have a set time in mind for what is excessive. It depends on each person. I suggest that you wait until it seems too long and then maybe just a little bit more to be sure.

      Good luck on dating in general! If you read many postings here, you'll find that you are in good company. Thanks for the rating!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • Would you give your phone number to someone you weren't interested in?

    • Good point! very true. I have *soooooooo* much to learn now I am back on the dating scene...Thanks.