Is it better for me to stay connected to him, or should I play it cool while he's visiting family?

I met a guy online 5 months ago. He is in the military and deployed at the time that we met. We talked on and off for 4 months. He got home about 4 weeks ago and we met for the first time. Since then, we have been out 3 times and this last time, we spent about 9 hours together. He kissed me at the end of the 2nd and 3rd date. We had another date planned for a few days after we saw each other last because he was leaving for 3 weeks to visit family. The day that we were supposed to go out, he ended up canceling because he got stuck at work, and it was 2 days before he was leaving. He said we will got out when he gets back and said we should maybe go dancing (I had mentioned that to him as something I wanted to do). I said that sounds fun and told him to have fun. Then I apologized about leaving more than one message about meeting up because I wasn't sure if the first message got recorded. He said "no problem" and then told me his phone wasn't working well.

Since he has been gone, I text him once to ask how he's dong. He responded pretty quickly and said it was great. I responded back just to say I'm glad he's enjoying it. I haven't heard anything else from him. But that's also not strange. Even when he was here, he didn't text much, but always wanted to go out again or do something I suggested.

Now I'm not sure if I should leave him to his vacation and not text him for a while, or if it's best to keep in contact and connected while he's gone? Guys, what would you think? Do I need to wait for him to get home and follow-up on going out with me, or should I text a friendly Hello every so often? The one text I sent was 3 days ago. Based on previous interaction, I don't think he's going to be one to contact me first while he is gone. I've also noticed that he as been back on the dating site 2 times in the past 2 weeks. Is that a concern?


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What Girls Said 1

  • It's very simple. You're not on his mind if he isn't contacting you.
    You shouldn't have to do all the initiating. He is politely responding to keep you as an option.
    You should do the same and have him as one of your options.
    You should never put in more energy than the other person is willing to. It lays the way for the path forward and illustrates how passive they are towards you. You deserve better