How often do you think about your first love?

Hi, I broke up with my first boyfriend in January this year after 9 months of dating. We broke up cause he was flirting with girls on Facebook and asking them out on dates. I couldn't stand it and broke up with him. I was very heart-broken, I cried myself to sleep almost every night.

Three months after we broke up I started dating my classmate, we have been classmates in University for almost four years now. Our relationship is going good, it's going to be our 7th month dating on the 25th of this month. I love him dearly and I lost my virginity to him very early into our relationship (which I hate so much).

My problem is that I can't seem to forget about my first boyfriend. I find myself thinking about him at times, the good times we shared and I wonder how he is. We no longer speak, or have any kind of communication.

I'm 20 years old, I don't know whether my age is relevant or not in helping you understand my situation.

How can I make it stop?

Should I tell my boyfriend about this?

Have you ever experienced this about your first love?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It will stop in its own time naturally.

    I was in the same situation as you.

    I was 20 years old and not over my ex.

    But I continued to enter into a relationship with a man who I am still with.

    Sure, it was challenging at first and even had me question my love for my current.

    But I knew ...that given my situation it was best to move forward.

    "Sometimes we are better being without the person we love, because

    they cause us more pain."

    I knew I was in a better place, even at times it did not feel like it.

    Do not think about the great times you shared,

    think about what cause you to leave in the first place.

    Remember, you do not want to go back to that.

    I knew with time I would get stronger and I did.

    My partner helped me through every thing and we are still together till this day.

    Choosing to open up to your boyfriend about this is a personal decision,

    It may hurt his feelings.

    He may feel like the rebound man.

    If you choose to tell him how you feel, be honest how you feel about him.

    Let him know you love him as much, but at the same time you are hurting.

    If he is very understanding, he will be supportive and help you get through it.

    It may even help you bond closer together.

    In due time, you will feel nothing for your "first love".

    • I feel the very same way you felt, at times I do question my love for my current boyfriend, but there are times when I am a totally sure that I love him. I never questioned my love for my first boyfriend though, it was very strong.

      Can I please ask, how long did it take you to forget about your first boyfriend after you broke up?...I'm happy for your moving on, I know it's not a good feeling.

    • Thank you for your answer, you've given me hope that I will get through this.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • how can you make it stop?

    you don't MAKE it stop it will just eventually go away. this is how dating works...just remind yourself of the reasons why you aren't with him, which there seem to be plenty of

    Should you tell your boyfriend?

    Only if you are ready for the conflict that will ensue or his feelings that you may not be over your ex

    have I experienced this about your first love?

    yes, and my 2nd and 3rd. it's natural and will happen. sometimes you'll remember the bad stuff and sometimes you'll remember the good just try and remember the reality

  • I think about Inge daily. We were betrothed in 1965. We couldn't marry because of circumstances beyond her control.

    I've had 3 marriages. First marriage, 10 years. She divorced an alcoholic. 2nd, I was the best of friends with her, but didn't love her. 3rd, almost 25 years. She died.

    At first, I tried to forget about Inge. It never worked. I knew --- every time --- that married the wrong woman. But the lapse of time ensured that I would never find her... I believe she was a Jr - named after her mother. There was an Ingeborg W in the city where she lived up until the 1980s...could have been her or her mother. I never found out because I was married.

    My last marriage was a happy one.

    Solution: I put Inge into a box in my head, to open and examine whenever I wanted. The box grew and shrank in size according to how much I thought of or missed Inge. There is a huge hole in my heart that will never close.

    • Awww, how old are you now?

    • 71. You can check someone's age by hovering over their name unless they hide their age or their profile is private.

    • omg this is lovely :)

  • Time will heal the wound...always does. For some its weeks. For others its months. For some its years. Rest assured that your wound will heal...and, if its any consolation...In my opinion, you had no choice but to dump him once you found out he was asking girls out on dates. No self-respecting lady should put up with that BS and I am glad you didn't!

  • don't know because I haven't had my first love yet unfortuneately

  • Everyday. I loved her for 7 years and she married someone else a few months ago. I'm trying to move on but it's easier said then done.

  • even the same thing happenes with me... first love is difficult to forget...~~!

    but as he cheated on you...its not worth thinking about him... as the time passes you will forget...

    if your current boy friend is good...then you can talk about your feelings...but suggest not doing it coz... it might light up some bad things between you...he might feel jealous about it or he might not like it /...most guys don't like it...

    If you are happy with your current boy friend then just continue... contacting your ex might add troubles in your relation... its my point of is up to you...


What Girls Said 4

  • I have been broken up from my first love for 5 years now, and I still think about him every now and then. I don't think about him because I miss him or want to be with him, but because we were together for a while so there are things that remind me of him. It could be a song, or a certain place we would visit a lot, or driving past his town,... stuff like that.

    It will stop on it's own, there's nothing you can really do. I wouldn't tell my Boyfriend that because it is going to make him feel inadequate and insecure. Just remind yourself that he was no good for you and keep strong. You have come this far, so there is no need to turn back.

  • my ex boyfriend and I broke up in January as well and he was also my first boyfriend. I dated some other guys since then, was quite serious with one too but I can`t forget my ex. I still think of him a lot, wondering "what if..."

    so I think that's normal to think of your exes from time to time, especially if he was your first boyfriend he`ll always be special to you, you can`t really make it stop.

    i wouldn't tell my boyfriend if I were you, you love him now, don`t have any contact with your ex, so you don`t really have anything to tell him. if he specifically asks you then you gotta tell him, but if he doesn't, don`t.

  • You'll get over it when a length of time passes by.

    You're dealing with the aftermath of a bad break out but you haven't severed the emotional chord just yet.

  • I used to think about him ALL the time! But as time has passed I think about him less and less although there are days when I miss him and sometimes even cry over him. He was my first and I got pregnant by him (lost the baby later) so I have that weird connection to him! But he's a d*** and a whore and I know he never thinks about me! Honestly trying to move on is the best way. I mean it takes time the pain won't go away right away!

Loading... ;