Boyfriend has a "type"? But I'm not really it?

Please read, since I don't understand how this works... my boyfriend has dated a small variety of girls (some taller, shorter, blond, brunette, dark eyes, light eyes... etc.), but lately I can't help but to notice how into girls with darker hair he is. The girls he talks to, the girls he searches online, all very dark brunettes. Naturally my hair is medium to dark brunette but I always dye it a little lighter, sometimes auburn, sometimes with some highlighting.

Now I had a "type", when I was in middle school, but I grew out of that. Attractive is attractive to me. We've been dating for a few years so I don't understand... When we first met, he used to want to see me as a blond. But now this. Am I not doing it for him? Sorry if this is pathetic but I honestly thought people grew out of that crap... And now I just feel like I need to change myself and this hurts me.

By a little lighter, I mean it is usually a light brown and still a great contrast to dark brown/black.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not sure that he has a thing for dark-haired girls based on what you said. It may have been a coincidence that girls he's noticed that you happen to be aware of have dark hair. You can always mention this when you see him looking at brunettes online "I thought you had a thing for blondes?"

    Would you be agreeable to letting your hair go darker again if that is in fact what he likes? If so, you could tell him, "I was thinking of dying my hair dark brown. What do you think?"

    • I did end up dying it, before I found out... he got excited about it. But now my problems are more in the scope of, "he has a half-naked picture of a girl he knows on his phone", and now I'm just depressed and don't know what to do

    • Show All
    • I have caught him in a few lies, but he doesn't know about it. I've only confronted him when I absolutely knew he was crossing a line (like with the pic). I *think* those lies were only told because he didn't want me getting upset over nothing. I'm not sure, I know I'm making him sound like a terrible guy but there's a lot that I haven't said on here that he does that would make a person think otherwise, hence why I'm even attempting to make the relationship work.

    • I figured there were other factors that kept you in the relationship. Maybe when you know that he's lying about something you can calmly tell him that you need him to tell you the truth and that you will try not to get upset. If he realizes that he can't get away with it all the time he may get away from it.

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