What do I do that makes guys lose interest in me?

I'm getting kind of sick of it. Any time a guy is interested we will talk for a little while and then they'll stop talking to me. I am kind of quirky, but I'm not crazy or anything haha. There's this one guy I'm talking to right now and we have so much in common and there's no doubt there's a connection. When he first got my number we would have really long conversations over text and we got really deep about a lot of stuff. I could tell he was really special. Now, we don't text as much and we only have a class together once a week. I just find it so weird that I can send him a text that anyone would reply to...Like yesterday we were talking and then I told him I just found out my sister is getting a divorce...no reply! I find it so weird. He definitely doesn't act like he's not interested...He called me perfect yesterday and said he missed me... But how come he doesn't find it a priority to text back? Seems really odd to me, because regardless if you like texting or not, if it's someone you like, you want to talk to them! I don't get it. I don't want to text him again and overdo it because it's obvious he doesn't want to talk to me...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Generally, most guys equate texting in the initial stages of getting to know a woman as putting in "work" to win her over. As the novelty of pursuing her wears off, in many cases, a significant decline in texting will as well, which most women misinterpret as a sign of disinterest.

    The fact is, men and women communicate differently. In my experiences, guys text to get their point across and will often limit casual texting once they become familiar with a woman. Women, on the other hand, are communicators and thus text as method to express themselves.

    On that note, you may find it helpful to cut back on the texting with this new guy and perhaps increase in-person interactions. Texting guys without spending time with them gives them the impression that you are not serious about being with them or that they are friend-zoned.

    To avoid a recurrence, try to be as visual or tangible as you are vocal to guys.

    • Thank you for answering! That clears up a lot actually. I know when he does text me he really does express how he feels about me, but I guess I saw it as if he doesn't want to text me all the time he probably isn't that interested. We are going to see each other on Tuesday and Wednesday which should clear up any confusion I have.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Don't worry about quirky. There are plenty of guys, like me, who are attracted to quirky girls :). The anonymous answerer gave you some good information, but the text about your sister getting a divorce was an exception. Any guy that liked you would have replied to, at least, express his sympathy for you. There was no excuse for his disregard in that situation, so I'm not surprised to learn that he had a girlfriend the whole time.

  • I would have to think that either the attraction is one-sided, or the guy isn't worth your time. I mean, when you make a comment like that about your sister, it is unusual to me that he wouldn't ask you how you feel about or something like that.

    You seem attractive and intelligent... and while I'm not sure what you mean by "quirky", it sounds like something interesting, not a turn off. Perhaps you simply haven't found the right guy.

    And I hope that this isn't an old question of yours like that other one! ;)

    • Haha actually it is an old question :) this was back around November I believe. The guy ended up having a girlfriend the whole time. What a gem! I was a mess for a while and I cut him off from communication. I find it kind of ironic that you answered this today because I haven't talked to him since December and he randomly messaged me today. Don't worry I let him know that I had no reason to talk to him. I know now I just haven't found a decent guy and I know eventually I will find someone that completely respects me and we will have a great connection. Until then I have to deal with these idiots :)

    • Yeah, any "decent" guy would have responded to you when you made a comment like that, even if only out of friendship.

      I'm glad you didn't waste too much time on that guy -- you certainly didn't lose anything by cutting him off!

      I don't know how I keep finding your old questions...

What Girls Said 1

  • Well what can he say to that?he might not feel like he knows you well enough to ask why caz its none of his business

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