On the jerk-scale, how bad would you say this is?

Background: I went on two dates with (who I thought was) a super great guy. he was pretty much everything I want in a guy. long story short, his ex showed up the night before our second date throwing herself at him sexually to get back together, which he told me on our second date (but said I had nothing to worry about). we had a great second date, but suddenly the next day he texted me to say that he thought he was ready to date again but turns out he wasn't (this is after HE had made plans into December)

NOW: after getting his text I went onto "tinder" to see who else was out there, even though I was upset over him still. funny enough, I ended up talking to a guy who was in his same grad school program at the same school, but it's a large program so I thought the chances of them knowing each other were very slim, and the chances of them talking about ME were even more slim.

i deleted my tinder after a day, deciding I should take a break from dating. and then last night happened...

i got a text from the guy I went on the two dates with, saying "funny story, apparently my friend was chatting with you on tinder but the feed got cut off and he wanted me to give you his number so you could call him and I hope this message finds you well." (the guy's number was included in the text)

i was SO angry I had no idea how to react. so I texted back "who is this?" because I had deleted his number, but I wanted to be sure it was him. then I said I was sorry but I deleted my tinder and that I hoped his friend found someone great. I asked him how he came to know about it and simply said that it was no more than his friend telling him he was excited about a girl he met on tinder and that when he found out it was me then he said I was a really nice girl.

i was INFURIATED because this is a guy who I still like basically giving me off to another guy.

i was talking to a co-worker and she said it was a HUGE jerk move on his part.

how big of a jerk move was it really? even if he was doing his friend a "favor" isn't it kind of mean and disrespectful to give a girl who you 1. kissed 2. told you "werent ready to date again" and you know likes you another guy's number?

what are your thoughts? and what would you do if you were in my position?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He wasn't interested in you so he cut things off. The other guy happens to be his friend and he just forwarded that guys number to you, he didn't give your number out. While it's an odd coincidence what did he really do wrong?


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What Guys Said 3

What Girls Said 2

  • He might not trust you and possibly he thinks you are a player because somebody that he knows happens to be dating you as well. He might not know that this is not a normal thing for you to do. Tell him it was a one time thing and see if he believes you.

  • There is nothing jerkish about this. He's not interested in you and the other guy is. He was doing you BOTH a favor, by connecting you, since you're both in the dating pool.

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