Girlfriend says she's "uncomfortable" coming to my place?

So I'm a 24 year old guy who got his first ever girlfriend 3-4 months ago. I'm still a virgin and she is aware of this fact. The girl is 23 and has had boyfriends and sex before.

So far our dates have all been going out somewhere, never back to each other's. We text and talk all the time but nothing physical has yet happened (excluding kissing and holdings hands). Things are going well other than that.

I have tried inviting her over to my place a few times, for a film and dinner (genuinely, not necessarily code for you-know-what) but she's refused. The latest time (I don't ask this all time time, just 2x up until now) she told me that to be perfectly honest she's "uncomfortable" with coming back to my place but didn't go into details why. I really don't understand why this would be as I always make an effort to be a gentleman and don't really think that I'm creepy or anything.

Can anyone make a guess as to why after so much dating, constant texting/talking a girl might still be uncomfortable to go over to a guy's place? (and not necessarily for sex, that doesn't have to happen at all)

I had a thought: perhaps she isn't as uncomfortable with coming to my place for film/food as she is with being the first girl to ever sleep with me, perhaps that's what is scaring her?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't feel comfortable going over to guy's places.

    I don't care if a guy says "oh we'll just have dinner/watch a movie" you don't know what his real intentions are. most guys say lets chill/watch movie but really want sex. how is she to know you're any different?

    guys' don't get it. if a woman goes over to your house she is totally vulnerable. men are bigger and stronger than us and if he wanted to force us what could we do about it?

    besides, how does she know it's just YOU over at your house? I've heard of girls who went back to a guy's house and ended up meeting a bunch of other guys over there waiting for her.

    the world is a nasty place and she has a right to feel uncomfortable. don't be so pushy and keep asking her about going to your house. that's probably half the reason she's so uncomfortable. if she said no and was uncomfortable and you keep asking her, then you would come off like you do have more than just movie watching in mind.

    • Ok, I see what you're saying there.

      This makes me a bit concerned/upset that after all this time, she still doesn't really trust me. I thought I've been a perfect gentleman all this time (and she's even complimented me on that) but there's still something that I'm not doing right. I've heard that most relationships get to sex much quicker than this or at least going over to each others' but not with us.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should ask her...

    Is there something about us that makes you uncomfortable to come to my place?

    then update us and I'll be glad to figrue the rest out...theres just too many possibilities as to why to give a answer at this point.


What Guys Said 3

  • Of course she's uncomfortable! She knows what vile things are running through your debased mind! You filthy ghoul!

  • you say she has been with other guys. she may have some bad memories by going into a guy's place. why don't you try asking her whether it is OK to spend a day at her place?

  • Some bad things could of happened to her in the past. You have choices. It is not easy to be patient sexually and it sometimes can be difficult to be with someone that has been a victim of violence (especially sexual violence). If you truly care about her than do not ask again and be as patient as possible. Soon she will gain your trust and as long as you are TRULY not pushy everything will happen naturally and beautifully. Best of luck to both of you.