Was I a bad person? Yes/No

I dated a guy for about 4 months. Before we started dating, I told him I could choose between working in California VS. working out of state.

On our 2nd date, I told him I decided to work out of state. I LIED! I actually decided to work in another country for the same company (an opportunity came out).

Anyways we dated, it was great, etc. He made me a birthday party, I met his friends, it was all good. Then after about 3 months I asked about our 'relationship status.'

He didn't say much and then messaged me later saying we were "nice friends."

I thought fine, okay so I'm not going to date this guy anymore. Fine. So we saw each other again for lunch and I told him the truth that I actually am going to leave the US and work abroad. We continued seeing each other until I left the country.

We didn't really keep in contact, he wouldn't reply my message. 8 months after I left America, I got a message from him saying he'd like it if there is an "us" in the future.

His best friends think that I'm the worst person. What do you guys think?

  • Yes, you are a bad person for not telling him the truth from the begining
    Vote A
  • No you are not a bad person. He was the one who said you guys are "NICE FRIENDS" so he wasn't serious to begin with anyways
    Vote B
  • See answer/other
    Vote C
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
I didn't 'betray' him or anything. We were never "official" in a sense that we had a talk that we were boyfriend/girlfriend.

We did spend a lot of time together that made us seem like boyfriend/girlfriend.
I'm asking because I still really like him, even when I'm really far away.

At the same time, I'm not gonna quit my job.

I'd like an "US" in the future as well. :(


Most Helpful Girl

  • You weren't necessarily good or bad.. you just weren't very truthful with him.

    It sounds like you guys had (and still have) some communication issues.

    If you want to pursue something with him then you're going to have to change that. Telling partial truths and playing guessing games with each other is not the way to get a relationship going.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • this was just really bad communication.


What Girls Said 1

  • No just bad communication