How to tell if a First Date is going bad?

We all know there are just some little red flags that go up on a first date to let you know things are getting bad. (They start staring off into space vacantly etc etc) What I want to know is are there some signs that are universal or do they tend to vary a bit?

What are some red flags you have seen on a First Date?

Do you notice what red flags you give off? What are they?

How many red flags does it take for you to drop the date and give up on it collectively?

Thank you everyone who answered!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think most signs of a bad date are pretty universal. Staring off into space (as you’ve stated), not contributing much to the conversation, texting, and awkward silences are all clear indicators of a bad date. Another major sign is if one person has completely different intentions than the other. For example, if a guy starts asking you sexual questions or invites you back to his place during the date, you’re going to see that as a red flag and probably be very disappointed if you’re looking for a serious relationship.

    No matter how bad the date is going, I try my best to stay polite. Like, I’ll never pick up my phone and text, as that’s extremely rude and annoying for the other person. But if the conversation is literally going nowhere, I usually tend to just stop trying. The only reason I would actually end the date early is if I felt extremely uncomfortable (like if the guy started asking me sexual questions). Otherwise, I’d just try my best to get through it.

    • Great points, even with friends it really gets disappointing if they stop contributing. I personally wouldn't drop the date very fast either but from some of my guy friends I've heard that quite a few of them have left a date at the first sign of texting so it's helpful to get another girls opinion on that.

      Thanks so much for answering!

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What Girls Said 2

  • another sign is that when he drives you home and just go fast with his car and not wait for you to go in , when he doesn't offer to walk you to your car and just leave the place after goodbye , when in the middle of the date he mentions that meeting he has to go after half an hour ! or his appointment at gym ,like these

    • Wow, yes those would definitely be red flags! Thank you for contributing ^^

  • red flags=lying, constantly checking phone, bringing up sexual topics, major lateness, he says jerky things

    not "red flags" but things I would be turned off by=bored, lack of good conversation, the thought of him kissing me doesn't make me happy or curious but rather turned off, I find him stupid, he seems lazy. he can't meet my eyes, there's no connection, etc.

    To clarify: red flag means that this guy is not good news. he is either a player, or may even be in a relationship. there is something fishy about him that will not go well. a red flag guy can be very appealing and seductive but there is probably something wrong like he is taken, or hiding something, or even dangerous!

    Not red flag=things that would make me not want another date, but wouldn't make me think the guy is dangerous either.

    It usually takes more than one date to weed out red flags. But if you catch him in a lie, that should be it. I learned the hard way.

    • Thank you so much for your input, I was meaning to use the red flag comparison as more of a 'They're not interested thing' but your answer is excellent ! I'm sorry you had a bad experience and I hope you didn't have any after that.

      One question, just because: is there a specific 'type' of lie or any lie in general. For ex. he lied about not being hungry. Would that be a flag or would you wait for something bigger to act?

    • ok by lie I mean lie about himself. a social grace is only really a white lie. I mean lying about his identity, age, school, where he lives, etc. this guy lied abotu where he went to school.

      if you want to know if he's not into would be if he doesn't seem so engaged, not holding your eyes, the conversation feels forced. he doesn't seem excited and ask for another date at end. but you never REALLY know until he either contacts you (within 3-4 days!) or not. if no, he's not interested.

    • Alrighty ^^, Thank you for answering that question additionally and I agree completely with your signs of disinterest.