Are American women very very hard for a man to win over as far as getting her interested in dating?

It seems like more American men are luring towards wanting to date women from different other countries, compared to local woman. American men say U.S. women mostly care about wanting to stay single for the rest of their lives and not care about being in a romantic relationship. They also say American women care mostly about money and not men on a romantic level (of course these are men's words not mines), anyway, that's why international dating among American men has become very popular and seems to be growing in future years to come.

I want to know is it really hard for an American man to approach an American woman and spark her interest, without her thinking he's a waste of her time and air? Probably due to her been hurt in her past, so she takes out on men in general.

I also want to know are there also some American men who don't mind staying single for the rest of his life, due to his bad experiences with women in his past?

Another reason why American men are starting to date foregin women cause most of them love nice guys, while American men believe nice guys finish last.


Most Helpful Guy

  • There are several reasons that American men are having problems with our women. Despite what women claim, men are now in direct competition with women. If she makes more than him, has a better education than him, taller than him etc, the woman is more likely to feel that she is out of the man's league, and deserves a better man. While certainly not all women feel that way, the ones that do tend to remain single the longest and ruin dating for a lot of guys.

    Men have also been taught to be ashamed of their sexuality in America. When young boys start approaching young girls they are often rejected very cruelly, with accusations about the guy being shallow, perverted, and creepy. To avoid these accusations some guys try to befriend the girl before asking her out, and this is what gets guys friend zoned. Our media also makes men out to be perverts, so a lot of men avoid approaching because they don't want to be seen as a pervert, and a guy that doesn't approach isn't going to do well with women.

    American women are being taught strength, American men and being taught to validate their worth by a woman's affection. If you look up how to be a stronger woman you will find all sorts of advise for how a woman can increase confidence and learn independence. If you look up the same thing for men, you will mostly find books on how to pick up women.

    American women have also been taught that anything that shows a man love is a type of servitude to the man, and is shameful. Cooking for her man for example is really just showing that she cares for him, by taking care of him. Basically it is how men get our romance from women. Since women will actually avoid doing these things now that they are seen as degrading to women, American men often feel unloved, by their woman. Basically American women need to relearn the art of romance to make a relationship work.

    The destruction of gender roles also causes all sorts of confusion as to who need to do how many chores. Even though study after study has shown men are doing as much work as women, our women still start fights all the time about the man not doing enough. Everyone believe they have it worse. It is much simpler with gender roles. The guy does this, and the woman does that. No more fighting about whose turn it is to do something.

    The lack of any strong male role models is also causing a lot of problems for men and women that grew up without fathers.

    Most women tend to love foreign men regardless of what country they are from, so American men enjoy the attention foreign women give us. I have heard from several people, that the average white American man is treated like a king by women in Asian countries. Their love of American men, and their culture of taking care of the man make the men feel loved and valued. For some men it is the first time a woman has ever made them feel that way.

    Then you will of course have people that will always believe the grass is greener on the other side.

    • You mean, their love of American mens money? I'm sorry but if you think foreign women love American men for giggles then you're confused...

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    • I think you hit the nail on the head with all this. I Would like to add It seems like all the women complaining about men not wanting to commit, but I find a lot of times its the women that want to stay single and have multiple uncommitted affairs with men.There's been a reversal of gender roles also. They're men out there being degraded and used be women. When effort and work should be shared equal. Women deserve their independence but I feel its gone too far and ruining society.

    • some points I really disagree with or am neutral to. other points I think are great (2nd and 5th paragraphs specifically)

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What Girls Said 6

  • “Probably due to her been hurt in her past, so she takes out on men in general.” 
Quite the opposite. It is the GUY who gets hurt in the past and takes it out on everyone else. So then, they start ranting about lies and bullshit they made up like women only care about money (there are a lot of American females who date below their income, but it is a flaw they feel they can overcome/overlook). And saying women don’t care about being in a relationship for romantic affection is the dumbest thing they’ve ever said. The best-selling novels tend to be about romance and has a large female audience.

    Depends on the guy’s personality, looks, and what kind of women does he approach. The guys who say they can’t get an American girl are lacking in more than one category. It’s usually a personality problem and their choice of women to pursue.

    Other reason:
    Foreign people tend to be seen as exotic if they’re attractive as well. I like to call this ‘The sister syndrome’. You don’t like the women you grew up with and who want to meet women who aren't in your family. Learning a new culture and language can be alluring.
    When you meet more people, you get more chance to find someone you who relates to you more.

  • No

    But because in certain other parts of the world the women are desperate for white men, the undesirable white men travel over there and marry those women.

    My mom works with a lot of men who've done that and they've been screwed over. One guys has been screwed over by a Russian and filipino woman

    • How has your dating life been like?

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    • Well he asked me out and he approached me. I've never really been in a relationship, so I was open to any type since I don't have a type. I find guys from all sorts of categories (preppy, scruffy hipster etc) and backgrounds to be hot.

    • Just goes to show how much the world is just out to screw over everyone. Zero fun

  • Foreign women are more open to dating in general than American women. (It's mostly because guys aren't pushy, entitled jerks over there).

    • So in America it's the guys fault that American women want to stay single?

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    • Guys I know are really friendly and nice. But strangers who just approach randomly tend to be pretty crude and have a harder time taking no for an answer. When I was abroad the guys were more laid back and friendly towards me and women in general. Guys would be so much better off if they said, "Hey, what's your name?" instead of, "Show me your t*ts!"

    • Well since I'm a stranger, you don't think I'm one of those guys that can't take "no" for an answer. Also your male friends I'm sure you don't see any of them as more than friends. Sop that's my point, it's hard for a guy to win over an American woman.

  • No that's just what you think after witnessing dating scenes in America. Besides foreign women hate American guys. As they should.

    • And American women hate American guys, so apparently, American men are f***ed in the dating world, eh?

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  • Many foreign women are very intrigued by dating American men, so that's why men may have an easier time attracting them.

    I don't think it's "very, very hard", but it could be more challenging in the sense that it is much easier to get a foreign woman. But then there are language barriers, cultural barriers, etc.: things that make dating a foreign woman hard as well.

    It's not just American women. I have tons of friends from the UK, and they complain about girls there, too. I have friends from China, they complain about the girls there. There are girls who want the family life, and then there's some who thrive on independence.

    As for me personally, I simply want a meaningful relationship. I am a hopeless romantic. I want to fall in love, get married, have kids, etc. But many guys do not want marriage nowadays.

    • How did you first met your last boyfriends?

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    • It's very possible heavensgift2girls. Thank you for your input. I actually have been told that I come off as "bitchy" due to my shyness.

    • Why not marriage? Because nobody wants a divorce. With the percentages of slightly over 50%, that will discourage a lot of men. Just how it is.

  • It could just be that they find foreign people exotic or something.


What Guys Said 9

  • American men are getting fed up with their own women. We are being oppressed, humiliated, targeted, ostracized and abused with very little defense for ourselves. After decades of feminism, we've had enough. However, we want women and refuse to turn gay/tranny or simply just live as hermits and masturbate for the rest of our lives. American women have made it clear that their muffins are the top of the world; anyone else is second class and we should only choose the red-white-and-blue or be ridiculed as losers. Some of use reject this and have realized there are other options.

    Approaching women is dangerous. We can be sued for sexual harassment for any reason at any time by anyone, even by women we have known for years. Attempts at dating only leads to rejection because a man is not tall, handsome, healthy, wealthy, WHITE (or race-specific), age-specific, athletic and rich. In addition, if a woman feels her career or independence is threatened, forget it. It's her way or it's no way. What I am saying is simply that with American women, the risks outweigh the rewards.

    I'm in college, old enough to be the parent of any given female student. This simple status makes me automatically creepy with American women, so I keep to myself and give American women all the space they could possibly want. I don't talk with them, I don't study with them, I don't look at them any longer that what is required to make sure we don't bump into each other. Asking an American woman out is dangerous. Trying to get laid with one is suicide. However, I can pretty much approach any international woman and gain a positive reaction out of 95% of them. And I'm not even trying to get some out of them, just a smile or even a good acquaintance. The American women don't even look at men, so why bother?

    All I hear about from American women is how much men are pigs and how important their careers are. They have gone out of their way to make it clear they don't want men, they don't like men, men are losers and we better give them all the respect and desires they want or god help us all. Fine. We'll look elsewhere.

    Why are American women looking at other women? Because we simply want someone who is not going to piss us off. We don't want servants, just a woman who wants to be a team player in a relationship. Not happening here. However, I have noticed that the feminism is now global. This behavior is all over the developed world on a lesser degree. Even Japanese and Chinese women are acting like American women. Not good. I really don't care how this comes off to readers but we men are just getting fed up. I fear the future. I think there will be a global gender war in the most violent and gruesome way. It's bound to happen. Not looking forward to it

    • Sounds like you've only encountered the hardcore feminazis! I don't think all American women are like that. They might be few and far between though...

    • Come to America. Experience them for yourself. Before you go insane and locked up in a mental ward, send me an email. You just might understand. That's if you don't get hooked on the feminist disease yourself. Happens to so many outsiders. Once they get "Americanized", it's all over! Yes, I've run into a lot hardcore, disrespectful, rude, uncivilized, hell-on-a-broom chicks. No fun. Yet it's always a man's fault. Always

  • It's only easier to date foreign women because your sexual market value increase due to being perceived as rich by comparison to their standards of living. If you were rich it would be just as easy dating American women. The problem is that any woman who would or would not date you based on your economic status is not worth the time of day.

    You might be able to find easier success with foreign women if you don't mind marrying a gold digger and can move to their country with the same amount of income you can have here.

    If you bring her here she will acclimate to western culture and her standards will increase making you married to an unhappy gold digger who will divorce you and take all your stuff just like 50% of the women who get married right now anyway.

    The only ways to succeed with women are:

    1. Stop dating them and do fun stuff instead.

    2. Have REALLY high standards you hold your self and any woman you date to 100%

    3. Accept being used, abused, looted, kids, retirement, home etc.. taken from you.

    4. Be a player/ hire escorts or what ever works for you, use women for pump and dumping.

  • There's a lot of risks in dating foreign women but I can see why guys would try such a route. If they're not a citizen they just want a green card and don't care who they marry. But after they get that card, there's gonna be problems for sure.

    Women in America do indeed go for guys with money and such and the US economy is pretty much in the sh*t right now. So the typical paycheck to paycheck male is "not successful" to most women even though he really is.

    Most men out there just want a nice stable relationship honestly. But a lot of US women have ego issues and cannot stand the thought of men achieving more than them. I think a lot of it has to do with the feminism warping a lot of female minds. It's one thing to want to be independent, it's another to just be another feminist crying "misogyny" over and over.

    Ironically, these women are in no position to get the "successful" men and simply use their physical appeal to win them over. A lot of women do indeed prostitute themselves and simply cover it up by calling it a relationship. Approach someplace in a fancy car and suddenly girls are all over the guy. Approach an area in a Honda Civic and you're just another guy. But these women will justify their actions in every way possible talking about how "caring" and "wonderful" the guy is but we know where the attraction really is.

    OKCupid's study on girls messaging guys based on income. link

    After age 22 males pretty much are screwed.

    • Good link dude. It clearly shows how women want so much when they indeed do want a man. Men are just plain screwed if they are short, old and don't have a lot of money. For women, who cares, it's about the boobs right?

    • Yea I always ask myself "what do such women have to offer?"

  • Honestly, I really have not noticed this as a trend at all, and I don't think the description of American women is very accurate (aside from the part about valuing money over romance; I think that is something that is very important to women of many countries). It seems like international dating would be far more difficult, and my guess is that most American men are content to date American women. But, that's just what I've observed.

    • You have no idea. Trust me on this, the dating scene is pretty gruesome for most men

  • I don't have any problems dating American women at all, but that might have something to do with my Australian accent.

  • American women want too much and give too little.

  • Someone I know who moved to Medellin loves it

  • What you're talking about is alpha widows. "Probably due to her been hurt in her past, so she takes out on men in general." Women date the thugs/bad boys/alpha guys, get burned because they didn't appreciate being manipulated or used for sex, and now are jaded/stuck on the past guy.

    It's pretty common.

  • Yeah I hear the same things too, but I never dated a woman from another country so I wouldn't know which one is harder to win over. Answer this link

    • Did you suggested me that link cause you're saying I'm bitter?

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    • These days you can never be too careful, but I was just wondering.

    • It's really a question for those hypocrites who swear that they will never get frustrated by constant rejection and criticize others for getting frustrated by it.