Do I deserve to be treated like this?

I have been together with my partner for nearly two years now and we are both very stubborn when we have arguments, when I get upset I want comfort and to talk about it and when he is upset he walks away, recently I have been very upset about the fact that he barely ever tries to come see me, like I'm just his backup option for when he gets bored and when he does come over it's at like 9 o'clock at night and I'm ready to go to bed. I've had a really bad week this week with my uncle passing away and my wisdom teeth are coming through cause massive amounts of pain causing me to miss my first week of a new job then last night he came over late, ate dinner that I cooked for him , he wanted to watch things on YouTube so I cuddled him while he was watching it, and I tried to start kissing him and stuff but he said he was too tired and rolled over to sleep, about 15mins later he started to do stuff with me and we eventually we did it with him finishing without me so I asked him if he could kiss me I while I didi the rest, reluctantly he did and as soon as I finished myself he asked me whether he could go home because he didn't want to sleep with me and wanted to sleep in his own bed. I got upset and he got angry at me for not respecting what he wanted, we had a bit of an argument and he stayed but we were both too angry for it to even matter cause we both faces away from each other and slept. Was I over reacting or what? I'm so confused.. He often says that I annoy him even when I don't do anything , even if I'm trying to help him do something.. I do get controlling but.. I don't know is it me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • No, you don't deserve this, EXCEPT that you bear some responsibility for tolerating it for that long. You should have kicked him to the curb long ago if that's how he treats you.

    Clearly, the two of you aren't compatible with each other. It doesn't matter how attracted you were to each other - attraction alone will NOT make a relationship work, you also have to have a high level of compatibility.

    IMO, you need to end it with this guy and find someone who has far more of the important qualities in a guy. You might not have known what was important before, but now you know what is and isn't important, and you can make a better choice next time.

    You should be asking LOTS of questions of any new partner for the first 3-5 dates, to make sure you know how they feel about many different things, so that you can figure out if the two of you are compatible, because if you aren't, then you have no long-term potential together. Most people these days wait WAY too long to start asking these questions of each other, often months into a relationship, and it's far too late by then, because you're already emotionally involved. Wise people figure out compatibility early on, before they get too emotionally invested.


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What Girls Said 1

  • i don't think you guys are meant for each other. I think its both of you but he is also kind of a jerk sounds like he is over the relationship and just doesn't tell you sex shouldn't be a task