Is four dates too long?

Just that. This girl and I have been on 4 dates and I've only hugged her goodbye. There is definitely something there with us - we get along super well and I've met her family and coworkers. We talk super easily and the shortest date we've gone on was 6hrs. I feel that I should be pushing more, but I don't really know how to bring up how I feel. Should I just go the 90% and try to kiss her? When? How? I feel like I need to ask permission before doing that- is that ok? My ex and I never kissed at her request, so I literally have no idea what I'm doing.

Thank you all for replying... do you think I still have a chance to salvage or did I not move early enough? I'm tired of screwing good things up...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Seriously? Are you like devout Christian, or asian? Both of those are a bit slower on sex, but beside that--HELL NO, do NOT ask permission before kissing her!

    It's simple. I remember my first kiss. You just have to do your best to gauge the mood, how she's feeling, and if it feels right, go for it.

    If it helps, you can test by leaning in close like you're going to kiss her, but don't. If she leans or turns away, don't try it. If she doesn't move away and keeps looking at you, go ahead and kiss her.

    • As to your update, it's salvageable. Don't stress it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It really depends on the girl... And on how good you kiss. But no pressure. If she really likes you she'll stick with you as long as you make a move NOW.

    • I concur with her answer, QA. Make your move ASAP...don't be scared. Even if she doesn't want the kiss at that moment (which after FOUR dates I seriously doubt), she will respect you as a masculine man. :)

  • hmmm okay let me tell you this the guy I'm with now was in a really bad relationship and I as the first person he went out with since. we had an amazing first date and an amazing second date then he walked me out to my car from the resturant and we talked and talked eventhough I had work in about 5 hours anyway all of a sudden he kissed me. Accidently I said FINALLY OUTLOUD. he thought it was funny but my point here is yes! I had wanted him to kiss me from the start and was kinda bummed he didn't on the first date. 4 dates I would have been pretty hurt. just go for it and don't over think it.

    • you can salvage it. Make sure the time is right though :) Best of luck

What Guys Said 2

  • I would say don't rush things but you're at a stage where you could be kissing. Certainly I would advise against asking permission. There are a couple signs that she will show that she's interested. The strongest will be her eyes.

    One of the better opportunities will be after the hug, as you'll be in close contact. You have the option to go for 90% or a peck on the lips. Just don't go too fast.

  • I am going out on my 4th date next week and I still haven't kissed I get to nervous and last time I felt confident but she said goodbye in the car I didn't know what to do.

    • That sounds very familiar! Car goodbyes are terrible... I figure next time I see her (cause when we meet it is usually for a while) I'll give her a compliment on how she looks or something and then... try for it.

    • Yeah you can't really lean in to kiss her or she will think I am trying to get on top of her or something. That's good I want to kiss my girlfriend next time but she invited me over to her birthday party next week and there will be all her friends there.