How do I gauge his interest? I need help!

I could really use some unbiased feedback on this thing that's on my mind. I'd like to give as much detail as I can just so I get the most helpful responses.

I live on campus at my university, and I have made friends with a really nice guy who lives in my building. We share a lot of the same interests, the same sense of humor, and I'm very attracted to him. He's sort of a non-traditional student–he's 24 as opposed to my 20–and he doesn't know a lot of people on campus. So I've been inviting him to events on campus or just to hang out a few times as a group (without being too forward).

He came out with us once, and we just drove around on Halloween. I'm hoping my roommate and one of our more chatty friends didn't scare him off by how overbearingly dominant they were being, because he hasn't been keen on hanging out with us again since.

BUT as discouraging as that is, we do text often and talk in passing, without interference from others. We have great conversations about documentaries and film (we're a wild bunch) and some of our text conversations have been a little flirtatious. Not overly so, but enough to keep a sharp thread of banter open. Then he suddenly stops texting back and I have to wait a day or two to text him back or until he texts me first.

Mostly what I need to know is how to read his interest in me and hanging out with me. I don't want to give up on him because for once I actually really like someone and I think he's worth a shot. I just want to know how I can tell he may have ANY interest at all, even as friends. Maybe he's just a reserved guy and is hard to read. Any help anyone could give me would be really appreciated, I desperately need an outsider's take on this situation! Thanks!


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What Guys Said 1

  • He probably feels uncomfortable around your circles, since probably he's the only one older, right?

    You might not think of 4 years as significant, but it means he's spent some years in some other situation than being in school. He has a much different way of judging what is important in life, take my word for it.

    So while he might enjoy spending time together and chatting, he doesn't sound interested in any relationship with you, probably mainly because of the age difference. When you get too flirtaious, he backs away.


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