How does this guy feel about me?

I don't want to be one of those girls who overanalyzes things (I know, I'm a woman, too late), but I really can't read this guy at all.

So, we met about three months ago (near the start of the school year). He's a graduating senior this year, and I'm a sophomore, so there's an age difference of 19 to 21. He's a professional acting major, and I'm a stage management major, so while we share the same major and school (theatre), we have very different concentrations/fields.

We see each other often, and I've hung out with him a few times outside of our work or class. He's very encouraging of me and is constantly saying things like, "You're so insightful" and "You're so good at ______" (whatever it is we're doing). I've had a huge crush on him since a few weeks after us meeting, but figured he was totally out of my league. But a couple things have made me hesitate.

Firstly, he has an issue with complimenting others, or so I've heard him say. He makes a point of telling me when I look nice, and will often do so in a very...attention-grabbing kind of a way. For example, turning to a mutual friend and saying something like, "Doesn't she always look beautiful?"

Secondly, he's a very physically affection person. With everyone, not just me. Which is why I'm not sure how to feel when he hugs me from behind, pulls me close to cuddle with him intimately on the couch (my back pressed against his chest), or when he kisses me on the forehead. He's done it four times, and it's just odd for me because I've never had a guy kiss me there before. I hear the forehead kiss can mean many things.

The first time was at a party, and it was kind of like a "goodbye" because I just caught him on his way out. It had been a pretty stressful night (stupid drama he had to deal with for his roommate's sake) and he just smiled down at me, kissed me on the forehead, and left. I chalked it up to him having been drinking.

The second, we were working on something backstage. I was super distracted (as a stage manager, I had a million people trying to talk to me, ask me things, etc.) and he stops me, took my head in his hands, and leaned down to kiss me on the side of the forehead out of nowhere. I didn't have much time to react. I just blinked a couple times, then turned away to do my job, but it really made my heart stop.

The third time, I was working on the computer. He came up behind me, so I tilted my head up and he leaned down to press a succession of really quick kisses on my forehead. Then earlier today, the fourth time, he was leaving to work on something, and as he was getting up, he leaned over to kiss the top of my head.

He likes to grab my shoulders, he's constantly teaching me, giving me weird looks in class, trying to make me laugh, etc. I told my friend I think he just thinks of me as a little sister, but she insists otherwise. So I thought I'd ask for some guys' opinions.

Let me know if you need some more info.

  • You have a shot with him.
    Vote A
  • He just thinks of you as a friend/sister.
    Vote B
  • He's probably into you.
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
So, in an online conversation, he called me "intriguing" and said he finds me distracting. Thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's going to a lot of trouble to show you intimate attention. While he may just have an enormous amount of brotherly affection for you, this seems pretty far-fetched. I'm not sure how you might go about transitioning into something more. One subtle way is to tilt your head back one time when he is about to kiss your forehead to see if he takes that as a hint. A much less subtle approach is that when he kisses you on the forehead sometime when you are alone, ask "have you ever thought about kissing me on the lips?"

    • Intriguing is certainly a good thing to be. Distracting is well beyond mere friendship or brotherly affection. He has a way of talking about the issue around the edges. But he does it in a very classy and appealing way.

    • Haha, that's kind of what I thought. When I asked him to elaborate, he got a little shy about it, which isn't like him. But you're right. He's very classy. Him saying that has given me a little more confidence to pursue him a little...more obviously.

    • I find the idea of shy actor rather amusing. I wonder why he isn't more direct with you. Perhaps you can help him there with positive reinforcement.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I answered B but I think it could be A. I have a friend who is a girl and she liked me a lot. I always like her as a friend, but I always thought we could be more than that if it wasn't for a few problems.

    Anyways she often go really affectionately when we went out with our group of friends and sometimes I would instinctively hug her and kiss her on her cheek (like when she would hug me really tight). In those moments I was afraid I would have gone further with her though she has a boyfriend. However, when I wasn't around her, I never thought of her in the way and never missed her.

    Moral of the story: the guy could borderline like you. You just have to work it!


What Girls Said 1

  • He likes you but not trying to make it obvious sometimes. He's also playful about it.

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