I'm so hurt and devastated. What to do?

So lately I've been dating and talking to this guy who is 28 and I am 21, in the beginning we were both sceptial towards one another because of the 7 year gap and after our first date , he changed his mind and was interessted and asked me out again , but he went on vacation for a week and today we were going on our second, for 2-3 weeks we talked everyday and night and we connected good bond.

Last night I met him, he came over to my place and I live in a dorm..i was a bit embaressed because of it but what the heck I took a chanced and opened up..and it went great we cuddled, kissed and watched a movie and he seemed into me.. than today he writes me a long message on Facebook telling me how he had a long drive home last night where he thought about things and that the age difference does bother him and I feel he sort of panicked ..and got cold feet...but we were suppose to go on a date today to the movies and he booked the tickets on Monday so I very hurt..that he suddently doesn't want to date me..

he said he does have feelings but that he things we are in different places in our lives , he wants a wife , kid...

and I got mad and said well why didn't you let me go earlier,.

i said I can't be friends with him so I will deleted him but he didn't want me to..cause he wasn't sure yet and wanted to wait and see but I'm done waiting for someone.. so he said he won't deleted me and I had to deleted him if that was the case..and he needed to go to the gym to think about things

so I wrote him basically saying , I'm not going to sit around and wait and I liked him and thought we could figure things out but appearnly we can't , wish you a well life.. and he didn't reply to it

does he even care..why would he say this now..

did he panick? I'm so hurt :(


Most Helpful Girl

  • its weird that he cuddled and was really loving to you then all of a sudden he changed his mind? You said you opened up to him. Did you say or ask anything to scare him off? Because I think something was said that night that made him change his mind.

    • No , didn't open up yesterday but in general and yesterday it all seemed great but on his way home I guess he was thinking about the future and panicked ? I'm hurt and I deleted him he didn't reply to my last message .. But I don't know he said he has some feelings but that is the only issue our age .. Will he regret ? Ahhh

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What Guys Said 2

  • As I said a day or two ago, the age difference has nothing to do with it. I've dated several girls younger than I am, and one who I had just turned 21 and we had a 9 year age difference between us. It didn't bother me in the least because I really liked her. I avoided saying this before but I guess you really need to hear it; this guy isn't playing hard to get—he's just playing you. Sorry.

  • He's really playing hard to get, which is weird, because usually a guy will be super happy to find someone younger than him.

    You are in a very early dating stage, and he's already finding excuses. Regarding what he wants, regarding what he has to do in order to blabla.

    I would more say that he's not sure he likes you. Which isn't such a surprise after the second date, but he's making loads out of it.

    You should move on.


What Girls Said 2

  • Move on girl. Don't put up with wishy-washy men. They aren't worth your time. If he really has a problem with age difference, then so be it. It's his loss. If he panicked, then you're better off than waiting around for some chickensh!t to get over his fear. A guy worth your time will pursue you and keep pursuing and not make excuses about a chaotic life or his living arrangements.

  • Girl, Please. Don't be hurt, just move on .. Like he said, you're just in different places in your life and so it's not meant to be. No big deal lol, find someone on your time when you're ready. You can either be friends with him or not but you shouldn't worry about him anymore 'cause I promise he ain't worried bout you. Move on girly.

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