GUYS this is long but I really need help! please help?

Basically I've met this guy (Ross) that I like. Only problem is that he lives with a guy (Aaron) that I used to date about a year and a half ago. It only lasted for a month and Aaron was a complete nightmare, messed me around and I never knew whether I was coming or going.

Anyway, I met Ross weeks ago and it was evident we hit it off. We ended up innocently falling asleep cuddling on a couch and I noticed all the tell-tale signs of him staring at me when I wasn't looking etc. At this point he had no idea about Aaron and I thought it was irrelevant to bring up.

When I arrived at home, I noticed I had a friend request on Facebook from Ross. At the time I was too exhausted to accept and went to sleep. Later on that night when I went to accept, he'd deleted it. I had a hunch that Aaron had fed him some lies about me. So I sent back a request to him and he accepted. We talked a little, but I cut the conversation because I felt weird.

I met him on Saturday night again at my local bar. I saw him looking over at me a few times when I was standing with my friend and I eventually approached him. He was pretty drunk to be fair. He sat me down and started talking a little. His friend that was nearby kept saying 'kiss her kiss her!' but we just ignored him. His friends moved to another bar and left us alone.

The weird thing was that he kept on disappearing in the crowd but I still caught him looking at me wherever he was. One of his other friends soon came up and said to me 'Ross is shy, I know he likes you, but he feels awkward because of his friend' Ross saw me talking to his friend and put his arm around my shoulder and took me outside.

Ross took me to the side and told me that his friend (Aaron) had been telling him 'all about me' and 'how much drama I am' as well as making me out to be totally crazy. Ross then admitted to liking me and that he would have liked to go out sometime when we weren't tipsy. After that I said 'Well OK Ross, I respect that you live with Aaron and don't want to cause problems there. But if you're genuinely just not into me, it's OK to admit it' he hugged me at that point.

Even although we talked about these issues we STILL ended up at Ross's friend's house. Straight away he was inviting me to cuddle him on the couch and resting his head on me. When his friend went to bed he had me lying beside him with his arms wrapped tightly around me. We talked a little in between lip kissing and cuddles. I think we must have snuggled and kissed for hours straight and I'm not joking when I say he didn't let me go. He told me I was 'so cute' and even gave my shoulders a mini massage.

I've never had sex before but I felt so close to him and it was difficult to hold back. I usually don't feel close enough to anyone to even think about sex. I let him grope my butt at one point and run his hands over my body, but he didn't try anything more and he apologized profusely any time he thought he'd crossed the boundaries. I just feel like there could be something good between us.

Is there anything I can do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm not sure what kind of advice your looking for

    ... he's into you, you're into him so I'd try and go on some dates and see where things go, as he said when you're both totally sober. The ex who is his roommate may be an issue but it seems clear that he wants to get to know you and not just rely on the information the roommate provides which is great because he knows to form his own opinions.

    It sounds like you've got a pretty good thing going here with Ross. I would do your best not to let your previous relationship influence your behavior in any way. So that is to say, don't be hesitant about friend requests, and don't feed into any drama that Aaron tries to provoke.

    He likes you for you and seems intent on...a) getting to know you and b) not pushing you to do anything you aren't ready for too soon.

    he sounds like a good guy

    • Thank you so much. This is the advice I needed to hear! He is a good guy I think. Seems like he could be very loyal and loving. I just need to try and win him over now! Thanks again :)

  • I think you're doing everything you can. I mean, acknowledge to him that you were a bit "dramatic" with Aaron, but that you've grown and hope that he's willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.

    • thank you, this seems sensible!

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