Guy texts me "Hey", I respond with "Hi", then he bails?

We have recently slipped back into more of a friends role after he said he wasn't ready for anything more and didn't want to hurt me, as his heart is still broken. I'm usually just there as a shoulder to cry on, or someone to message when he's upset and feeling down due to the after-effects of his abusive relationship.

But, he surprised me today by texting me a "Hey" at 10:00 pm tonight. I responded with a "Hi" around 10:23 pm and he OPENED IT THE MOMENT HE GOT IT. But, didn't respond.

Seriously? I didn't know what to say as I'm used to just having to comfort him and not an actual conversation...he's the one who stopped our more than friends connection and I've backed away a lot since that conversation this past weekend.

Is he just checking to see if I'm still there? Or, did he find my response cold?

I feel stupid reading this. I sound like I'm just someone to be used.
He usually says a lot more than that. It's not like him to ignore me either.


Most Helpful Guy

  • He could have suddenly gotten busy, or he might have wanted to talk and not been sure what to say just as you weren't sure what to say. You'd be surprised how often that happens, so I'm not sure how much you should worry that he didn't respond. The thing that makes it look as if he's just using you though is the whole I'm not ready for a relationship because, as it turns out, my heart is still broken. That's rarely true for most guys.

    • See, that's how my thinking goes, but he did just go hot and cold and he told me all along that's he broken and feels numb. He said he's not going to put himself in a situation where he could hurt someone right now. But, since I've pulled back, he now sends me a "Hey" text like a normal guy? He said we had a connect, but there was a conflict of interest? I think he still loves her, is broken, and likes me, but doesn't want to hurt me. I just hate that he can't seem to talk to me.

    • Especially after all we've been through, he bails just because I said "Hi"? He's the one who said that he was "sorry I thought it was more" before he admitted he was wrong and apologized. When you tell me that you're just a friend, you're going to get friend treatment. I don't talk to my guy friends like I talked to him beforehand. It's what he asked for, you know? He didn't answer. We'll see. I'm not going to hold my breath anymore. He's broken, I laid my heart on the line, and it's his ball.

    • And, talking to you ignited a realization in my mind. He said that he felt like he couldn't talk to me anymore because of a conflict of interest. For forever, I struggled to figure out what he was meaning...he was meaning that he liked me as more than a friend and he felt like he couldn't talk to me about her because of this, but we were friends too. And, still are. But, he's just acting weird...

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What Guys Said 2

  • if that's how texting is with him, I fear what a night out would be like

  • When I text a girl 'hey' and she replies with a ' hi' I feel that she isn't interesting in talking as I am because it's shorter than what I said... Or you should at least add a smiley to show excitement

    • On the other hand, if a guy only texts me "hey", I also feel that he is not really that interested in talking to me...

    • I agree with this answer. Maybe he was looking for a more enthusiastic response. But I understand why you didn't give one :)

    • Why add a smiley if I don't want to? I laid my heart on the line and have been backing away because he doesn't want more right now, and I'm trying to be more of a friend, when he sends me a "Hey" text like a normal guy? I sent "Hi". I don't see anything wrong with it. I just don't see why he wouldn't reply, if he was so anxious to read my message, he opened it the minute I sent it. It's just weird. Maybe he was just checking to see if I'd take the bait.

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