How to build trust and get rid of insecurities?

I am one that keeps people at a distance, because I don't want to be hurt. I have seen a few folks in my family get cheated on and left (divorced), or played. For me I don't want to be in that predicament. Don't get me wrong I have been rejected and after a few dates girls would stop talking to me. Finally found a girl that I really like and want things to work out, but based on the past track record for me things tend to get boring real quick (I am assuming since the girls never really stayed). I am always picking up little things that make me wonder if she is setting up things with other guys. Before we used to take turns to initiate talking to each other (either calling or texting). Now it feels like it is just me, even though she answers 99% of the time (mainly me just telling her good morning or sending something to let her know I am thinking about her. Normally I do this once a day, because she answers to these. That is as much as I would do unless I call later on to setup a date.) I know guys are supposed to chase, but let me know what is going on or if your still interested.

When it comes to women I have a hard time figuring if they really like me or falling for me. Since when it comes to matters of the heart I kind of suck, because I have never really been in love (well at least not until now). This girl actually has everything I am looking for and I am actually praying about this. Just hoping she feels the sameway about me, but it is till to early to know and to let her know (only been about two months).

Also she wants to go on a trip with some friends (male/female I don't know what to do)? I am afraid that other guys would hit on her. I can't really say no, because she would go either way, so the only thing I could do it just be like okay even if she would sleep with any of them, how would I know unless I just happened to hear. That is what I am afraid of happening. Just don't know what to do or think.


Most Helpful Girl

  • it seems like you are the guy version of me. let me tell you one thing, you have to keep things interesting. I mean if I was a girl and all I got was a good morning everyday , I would be pretty bored too. go out with her and make her laugh. make her enjoy the time you to spend together. show her your romantic side . be playful and look happy and also keep the sexual part of your relationship exciting.

    and although not all girls are immature like this, but many are. by this I mean they don't even realize it but they always want what they can't have. so I would also suggest that keep talking to her but let her initiate.

    but before you start ignoring her slightly. take her on an amazing date, so the most recent memories in her head would be of how amazing you are. maybe a few more then one date or anything special. after you do this , just be less available, not too much though. let her do some work too.

    see if she puts in some effort, otherwise you know she isn't all that into you.

    and also are you possessive? because that could be a very big reason behind the demise of relationships. you said you saw people in your family being cheaters so that maybe making you more doubtful and in turn possessive?

    and please don't be boring. there are a few guys who choose to be honest and loyal. so I really appreciate that. just remember that there are many people out there who are believe that being faithful is the basis of a strong relationship. so don't change your views on that even if things don't work out with one.

    now for you title question. I was insecure too, I was possessive also. and all I know is that these things have to be sorted out from within. any relation you will be in, could be damaged due to it.

    so need to sort those insecurities. just be confident and believe if you choose to be honest , there are girls out there too, who do the same.

    there are no guarantees in love, you just give your 100% and let fate take care of the rest. you will someday find the perfect one, if you believe you will .

    • I have also taken her out on dates and joke around with her. Saying good morning is also in addition to that (I try saying it different ways. Like saying something different every day to make her feel special).

    • that's sweet. does she respond in a similar manner.? how does she act when around you? does she share her life ? is she really comfortable around you? those are the questions you need to ask yourself right now.

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What Girls Said 2

  • sounds like she's not interested in you anymore

  • how old are u? and how old is this girl? how did you guys meet?


What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds to me like the reason a lot of relationships don't go anywhere has less to do with you being boring (how boring can you really be?) and more to do with how you keep worrying about someone cheating on you, playing you, etc. You really shouldn't be worrying about things like this after just a few dates. Just be yourself and don't worry, the right woman for you won't require constant surveillance to make sure she doesn't stray from you, and she will find you interesting without you putting a lot of special effort into it.