My whole life of running from heartbreak has caught up?

This girl that I am currently started going out with has asked me about my love life. Well I told her I have dated, but never really had a relationship. Other than this one girl who I dated and eventually told her I loved her and all that jazz and she ended up showing me her true colors got pregnant by another guy. To me it hurt like hell, and the other little rejections by other girls that I have tried to date. The thing is even though at the time it hurt I just kept telling myself there are others who are having it a whole lot worse. That never covered the pain, but made it a little easier to bear. So after she told me about her dealings with love and I told her about mine, she told me that I am running from heartbreak. Also that I should stop running, because it is inevitable. Even though I am a man it is still something that is hard to swallow, especially when you start falling for a girl. I am always wondering if any girl I am dealing with is going to hurt me, from what I have been told I am always keeping people at arms length and seem to be negative about relationships. Now that I am dating this wonderful girl who is telling about not running from heartbreak, I wonder if she would be the one to really break my heart. I am starting to drop my guard and I am just afraid that my heart will be broken and how would I make it out if it were to happen.


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  • The short answer is that you have no guarantees against heartbreak from anyone. Even if she were perfect, she could get hit by a car one day. And yes, the better something is, the more the loss of it hurts. But that's a rather foolish reason to turn down a good thing. For example, if someone where to offer a million dollars, it would be foolish to turn it down because you're afraid of how bad you would feel if you lost it.

    I think much of what makes it harder for you to weigh the good against the bad when considering risks is that you haven't had a lot of good experiences in relationships. The girls who have used you or betrayed you in the past not only hurt you badly, they couldn't have been that good for you in the first place. Otherwise they wouldn't have done what they did. I think you need a truly good relationship to see what they can be like. Then the risk is much more worth taking.

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