Why is it that a guy that pursuits you for 2 months, and as soon as he gets you, they loose interest?

Been dating a guy for 2 months, 1st date, 2nd date, 3rd date...and so on. 6 date comes, he takes me to dinner at his house with his parents and his son. After dinner, he comes to my house and we had sex. Next date, I invite him to my house, cooked dinner for him, had a wonderful time in jacuzzi, and had sex. Then comes the conversation, which I started...may I call you my boyfriend, I said? He says yes. Next day, I get the the cold shoulder from him...Whats up with that? We are not kids anymore, we are grown adults, and each are very independent people. I guess men never change.


Most Helpful Girl

  • before you jump to conclusions, talk to him. see what he says. then move on if it is not fruitful.

    als, keep in mind. because you have had negative experiences with men, doesn't mean his bad behavior is male centric. he could just be a jerk. plenty of women suck too. ull be selling yourself short to resign yourself to the idea all guys suck and that's all you can expect from a relationship. not to mention its not fair to all the guys who are decent. additionally, you don't want to be in the habit of making ostensibly objective observations by way of anecdote.

    He may not be ready for a relationship, and should not have agreed. this isn't everyone. its just him. plenty of people are capable of starting a relationship after two months.

    Dont waste your time with him, if he's not interested. If he changes his mind in the future you can consider it, but don't pass up other people or alter your life for him. Not out of revenge. just a matter of practicality. he seems to not know where his head isat. unless of course he just got scared or sick or who knows.



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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't know, maybe the man bashing and generalizations...

    • I am not bashing any men. I treated this guy respectfully. Sometimes, I think my problem is just the opposite, I am too nice.

    • That was in reference to "I guess men never change"... Men aren't all the same. Why that particular guy flaked out on you, I don't know. Maybe sense he committed to you, he figures he doesn't have to jump through hoops to win you over now. Maybe he wants a little space after the 2 months of courting just to cool out and get his head back together. Maybe he's a commitment phobe. Maybe he's busy with work right now. Maybe he's having some personal problems you don't know about.

    • there are a lot of reasons why he might need a little space for a minute, or why he might run out on you. Nothing you wrote would lead me to think of anything specific. All I can take away from what you said, is that you lump us all together...

What Girls Said 3

  • From what I've experienced, men want spontaneity.

    One thing my boyfriend says about me is I'm unpredictable and he likes that he doesn't know what I'm going to say next, like it's a challenge or something.

    It could be that now he has you, he either doesn't feel like he has to try courting you anymore or it's a classic example of "you want what you can't have and don't want it once you have it".

    Not all men are the same, every one wants something or someone differently based on their own personality.

    Then again, nobody wants to feel like they've already accomplished their goal and fall into boredom. Keep things spicey and random.

  • wow no fucking way !gosh that has never happen to me ...? but I am so sorry tat happened tooo you /: & are you sure it was thee cold shoulder or are you just being paranoid& did you guys have sex on the first date ?

  • maybe he wasn't ready to make it official

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