Why do women in my age bracket think I'm a loser and that I'm not worth dating?

I was told to start looking for more older women. because everytime I approach a female my age, I get blown off. I am about ready to say fuck it all, and not date anyone at all.

And how can I afford a place of my own when my job pays below minimum wage everywhere, but working the maximum hours. I can't even afford a car in this economy...


Most Helpful Girl

  • I look at the the guy's heart and how he treats me. I also observe his reactions to things and his approach. How are you approaching these women? Are you saying because you have a minimum wage job and no car, the girls your age aren't giving you a chance? Don't give up on dating... Sometimes a quick walk around a free museum can be considered romantic if the lady is treated with dignity and respect...


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What Girls Said 4

  • women age 25-29 are looking for a husband, they're not looking for a fling. Someone that is husband material makes more then minimum wage, is able to support himself, and basically has his shit together and it doesn't sound like you do.

    Either date someone younger who doesn't care about any of that stuff

    or date someone older that is desperate to settle down before her biological clock runs out

    • Look, How can someone have his shit together when they're living below the poverty line. All I'm looking for is some kind of companionship, since most of my family pretty much hates the sight of me. I've never recieved compassion from anyone. Just nothing but hatred from people. Everything is shot. And with the greedy corporations running the country now, it's even harder to get on your feet.

    • I agree with this.

      Although I might say...younger girls too may find this a turn off. They want that stability they can find in an older man. Not someone on the same level as them.

  • You're unhappy with yourself, yet you want a woman to come in the picture and make things all better. There aren't too many people who want to get with a guy who is frustrated, depressed and dissatisfied with his life. Would you date the female version of you if you had options? First focus on improving yourself and personal development THEN worry about women. If women your age don't want you, how are you going to get an older woman who more than likely has higher expectations? A woman in her thirties isn't going to want a man at home with his mom, no car and a below minimum wage job. Be realistic and try to improve yourself before you seek a woman.

  • Well, what exactly do the young women your age say?

    Do you get blown off immediately after talking to them?

    Or is it weeks after conversing?

    • Both. they say I'm a sweet guy, but I'm not their type. I'm just tired of being cheated and jaded.

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    • I have tried online dating. I'm on Several. I've also approached women in real life. Nothing works. I'm just tired of being led on, Jaded, abused, and I think the best thing for me is to give up. Never mind that I've never experienced sex, being in love, and being in a relationship.

    • :( I'm so sorry you're hopeless. I wish there was something I could say to make you come out of that feeling. But there really isn't...this is all on your shoulders.

      You'll have better luck trust me.

      You're just a little down on your luck...but it will get better.

  • Well around your age, if you don't have a job, a place of your own and car then that's probably why. But if you do have those things then maybe it is because you don't really have a game, like know how to approach a woman. But don't give up, there is someone out there for everyone :)

    • Well I don't do ghetto approaches. I was raised in a mostly white neighborhood, and went to a mostly white school, and I do aproach women respectfully, but it doesn't seem to help anything. I'm sexually frustrated, and tired of the lame dating sites that have gotten me nowhere. I'm at the point where I will probably say American women can suck it, and tell love to go to hell. I'm probably not worth any kind of material anyway.

    • And how can I afford a place of my own when my job pays below minimum wage everywhere, but working the maximum hours. I can't even afford a car in this economy...I'm just beyond frustration now.

    • Well that's probably why, I mean I wouldn't go have sex with someone in another persons home.

What Guys Said 4

  • I can honestly relate to any girl who struggled with dating someone who lived with their parents but it does depend on the parents. I was stuck dating a girl with somewhat strict parents and I gave up on it.

    Now honestly, there is a double standard and I will point it out. A guy can find a girl who lives with her parents and if she's pretty enough, he'll date her with no problems. If a girl sees a guy struggling to make ends meet but is stuck at home even though he's plugging away resumes and such online, she'll brush him off. But there are some who will still date him as long as she sees he is trying.

    Thing is a lot of girls don't want to put the effort in to work with somebody to make a future. They just "want it now." So they'll just keep "waiting" until a guy comes over to them and shows interest. Ever see an attractive girl with an unattractive rich guy? You know why she's with him. She doesn't love him, she just sees him as a resource. If he lost it all one day suddenly she'd say "You know... I was thinking the other day... we're really not compatible..."

    Now honestly, I think you should focus more on other things besides dating and let yourself just bump into some girl along the way. Plug away at better jobs and save your money on making a move because living an independent life is so much better in the long run. It may seem impossible but I am seeing people pull it off and I am pulling it off myself. Don't be another statistic of adults living with their parents because we got a lot of those out there who never intend on moving out and are happy playing video games 12 hours a day.

    Then when it's time to date, you can choose who is actually worth it and not give in to the double standards.

  • Guys never get any credit for trying in life. If they can't succeed or get over the financial hump, they are deemed as losers and underachievers with or without evidence . They could be responsible , ambitious, etc but if they don't have luck on their side, they will be deemed as losers not trying enough, etc . Going for older women might be a good idea because

    They aren't looking for someone to take care of them financially . They're not the ones who need a guy to support them and finance their life . They love being independent and careless about the money you make. They are looking for someone to spend time with and to love to be sexual with. They won't be quick to write you off because you have a low paying job and they are more willing to acknowledge the fact that times are rough out here and they will appreciate that you have a job in this economy where the unemployment rate is still high and has been high for a while now. Never mind those women that blew you off. Look at it this way Don't be discouraged by those women because even if you were doing well , they would be less likely to stick around if times got rough .

  • I have come across this as well. Here is what is happening, women are the ones that get to make the rules because lets face it guys will always contact them (maybe not quality guys but they do have options). They can make a laundry list of expectations they want, which for the most part includes 1. You must have a full time job 2. You must have a car 3. You must have your own place. If you fail to meet any of those three you automatically lose the majority of women on there.

    Women around mid to late 20's are normally thinking about a husband and possibly kids. Put it this way, if the girl will not give you a chance because of you not meeting one of those 3 qualities, do you think she would stick with you if you suddenly lost your job, or couldn't make a payment on your car or your rent? Someone is either going to like you for the person you are or they are going to like you because of what you can do for them, there is a difference.


    Sorry, that's all I could think about.

    Um, anyway, ... Is there a specific reason you don't mesh with these women? Something you're not sharing?

    • Something I'm not sharing? what do you mean? Maybe because I look like a freaking loser?

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    • what they consider "more promising material" not just because of family concerns and safety but because society has told them that when you hit the big THREE ZERO you need to get a real dude and stop fucking around with these kids. It hurts honest and dishonest men equally because the standards go up from lax to critical limit within a year. For now though honestly you're better off without a woman, I know it sounds sucky, but imagine having a second person you have to pay for.

    • The way I see it is that the girls in your bracket are still young enough to want a man who buys them the diamond rings but then also old enough to provide for themselves to some degree and get themselves in a little seriousness. The thing is the immature and the mature collide so you get "YOU DON'T GOT IT" while also running into "I can understand though" which ... just ends all fucked up. :p