I don't feel comfortable with this guy and we've sorta started dating

So, there's this guy in college whom I've got to know along the course of some months. He is really smart and we always have really interesting conversations and I like chatting to him about whatever.

The thing is, I don't usually get much attention from guys, so when I do I get it I get pretty hooked on it. Basically this guy dropped hints and said that yes he was interested in taking our friendship to a whole other level with me, and start dating and "see where things go". Initially I was excited about it but then I came to realize that I really didn't feel comfortable around him when he meet me, because it was like his intention was completely different. Every time he started to get close I would take a couple of steps back, or when we were sitting on a bench I would put my bag between us to create a barrier between us so that I could feel safe.

One day, when we were saying goodbye, he asked if he could kiss me and I immediately just said "NO" without thinking it through before saying goodbye and walking away.

This has happened a couple of times when I met him and I used to think that maybe I just needed time to get used to him and feeling comfortable around him, but I'm afraid that that might never happen. I really like him, he's super nice and smart but I don't think I want to be as close to him as he wants to be close to me; even though I feel super attracted to him intellectually, I definitely don't feel that attracted to him in a sexual way, and thinking about him in a more intimate and physical context makes me nervous. I think this might be a lot related to the fact that his sister is the current girlfriend of a guy I used to date; to me that fact makes me dating this guy a thousand times worse for some reason.

On one hand I really do want to give this a shot because he seems genuinely interested in me and that practically never happens with me, I really want to be with someone again; on the other hand, I don't know if I can handle always being a pile of nerves and super selfconscious when I'm around him. This is supposed to be something really simple and chill, with no expectations or pressure, but I'm obviously feeling a lot of pressure because I don't want to let him down or hurt his feelings.

What do you guys think I should do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • sIf you don't what he obviously wants, the honest thing to do is to tell him you aren't comfortable and would like to end things amicably. You aren't ready for waht he wants, and he shouldn't pressure you


What Girls Said 1

  • Break it off before it's too late.