Boyfriend wants to know every secret. Is this normal?

My boyfriend and I have only been dating a month and a half and I really like him. He is really big on complete communication and absolutely no secrets though. Whenever there is something I do not want to tell him (because it is embarrassing or highly personal) he gets mad and frustrated and tries to manipulate me into telling him. He says that I am resisting too much and he is going to give up on me soon if I keep it up. I know I should be happy that he wants to know everything about me, but I feel like we have not been dating that long and I am being pushed into telling him things I have never even told my parents or my best friends. Is this normal? Am I just being ridiculous and closed off right now instead of being a good girlfriend? :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • That would drive me nuts. He sounds controlling. No, it's not normal to make your partner tell you everything as some things just aren't any of their damn business.

    Pretty soon he'll want to know when & how many times you go to the bathroom.


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What Guys Said 2

  • does he share a LOT? everything?

    I believe telling EVERYTHING is often a path to future boredom, I believe some "mistery" is needed to keep things interesting, BUT, however, I can understand the appeal of it.

    growing up I was kind of, well lets say thugish, not criminal, but gangsta-like, and well trust is a BIG deal, in part because you can not afford to have someone betraying you, you find thatloyalty issues end in tragedy sometimes.

    other than that, a friend of mine, a girl, has had it ROUGH in life, true tragedy there, she has been screwed over by those who were meant to love her over and over again, so for her, being cristal clear is a must in the people she lets in.

    I only do it with ONE person, again, with my girlfriend, we have TRUST and share a lot, but not everything since a) she deserves her space andf privacy, b)again, it would be eventually boring, and c) I TRUST her so do not NEED to know everything, the girl I mention in the last paragraph, she has severe trust issues, justified, but issues anyway. So, not my girlfreiend but my best friend, we talk about everything, mainly because we NEED to tell someone, and we trust each other, and is not like she "demands" to know everything, is that I trust her and it is liberating to having her knowing, even the darkest stuff, she knows, and she tells me hers, like EVERYTHING, and again, is liberating, talk about thing you normally wuold not DARE with anybody and knowing you won't be judged or critiziced.

    up there you can see, it can be lack of trust, or longing for bonding deeply, BUT the later one implies, one SHARES, one GIVES away their secrets, while the first one focuss more in DEMANDING for the secrets of the other, my friend would tell you, she DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW, and I do not need to know, but if she shares with me, I treasure it, and I gladly share with her, but the minute she would start demanding to know, is the minute I would stop sharing with her, SURE, she may be curious, but for instance, often someone has come to her and say "did you know W did..." and she would be like "do not care" and REALLY, she does not, she does not want to hear it, nor will she ask me, but when I come to tell her, she will listen and be like "so that is what happens".

    now, yeah, she opens up to me and sure she expect me to the same, but if I chose to keep something from her, seriously, she does NOT ask, however she is pleased when I do tell her, and is like "hey! I thought you were going to keep me in the dark on this one".

    the demanding wants to CONTROL, while we do it for FREEDOM. however the line could be blurry, so try to undertand in which side is your boy, as thumb rule, share when he shares, that way he will share on HIS terms and you will freely do it in yours. NEVER demand answers of him, so he learns is NOT RIGHT.

  • It's not normal. I wouldn't put up with it.


What Girls Said 1

  • He's psycho and that sounds really annoying. I'd just dump him because he's way too demanding and manipulative. You can have boundaries and he doesn't get to push them and try to make you feel bad for having them.

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