When I was on a date, I told him I had another date later. Missed my chance?

So I went to lunch with a guy I'm kinda crushing on. I think I've read all the signs right, he seemed attracted and nervous and genuinely interested. But I messed up and told him I had a date that night. He kept asking me about the date throughout the night and when we parted, told me to have fun. Well, it's been a few days since then and he hasn't texted me or chatted me up. I like him, and feel like I scared him off by telling him about my date. I want him to ask me out, but I have a feeling he won't. What do you think he is thinking about me? How can I fix this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There is a large chance that you did mess it up.

    Personally I wouldn't bother anymore with a girl I knew was dating other guys. There's plenty more girls out there. Why should I have to share one? I might put up with it, if it was a friendship with benefits. But if there's no sex involved, only the prospect of possible sex in the future, I don't really see the point. I certainly couldn't ever have a serious relationship with her. And I wouldn't date her.

    In fact, recently, one girl had a serious crush on me. I was going to ask her out. But then I learned she was dating other guys. So I didn't ask her out. And now she's upset.

    The only possible way to fix this (and I'm being totally serious) is to have sex with him. Guys interpret willingness to have sex as a sign of affection. He probably assumes that you're having sex with these other guys.

    • But actually I think you should just move on. He's never going to have the confidence/motivation again to push things forward with you, unless you have sex with him.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Well if some girl told me she had another date I would like your guy be polite but it would be a huge turn off, I mean really most of us know a girl or guy we date might be dating others but we really don't need confirmation, to me it shows your leaning more towards friendship talking about other dates. He may still like you, it not all be doom and gloom. He might just be cautious and be waiting for you to make a move. You don;t have to ask him out directly just initiate contact again hint on at meeting up and if he asks about the date just say it was bad and going no further (assuming you want to move towards exclusive with this guy in the future and the other date genuinely is going no further).

  • he probably just doesn't feel special after being told that. I mean, how would you feel if the roles were reversed?


What Girls Said 1

  • Most men and women don't fair well with romantic competition. If they aren't aggressive and don't have self confidence, they aren't going to put extra effort into pursuing a relationship if they feel they don't have a chance.

    You shouldn't talalk about other romantic interests on your date. Especially with you confident people.

    You goofed, but its not a huge deal. You werent in a monigamousnrelationship with the guy, so you didn't do anything wrong. Many people go on multiple dates before they date someone.

    If you really like him simply talk to him like an adult. Give him a call and apologize if you offended him. Say you're new to dating and you don't have the hang of proper etiquette. Tell him you really enjoyed his company, and that if you didn't totally put him off with your ignorance, that you'd love to have another chance and see where things go.

    If he's a reasonable guy, he'll give you another date. If no, no big deal, just learn from your goof. You're allowed to go on as many. Dates as you want as lonhg as you aren't in a monogamous relationship.