Why do some guys think if I offer to pay I'm interested?

Actually it's the other way around; if I offer to split the bill on the first date it's because I don't like him nor see it going towards 2nd date or further and want to leave ASAP.

Apparently I made 3 guys confused and they really thought they were going to have a second date and one of them said ''That was so sweet, so let me when you want to meet me again''.

Sweet nothing, I didn't like him; he kept talking about his exes.

That's just my way:

If I don't like you then I'll offer to split the bill on the first date and that's it.

If I like you a lot, I don't offer and will start contributing on the 2nd or 3rd date... then we switch turns from then on.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Because most girls will just let the guy pay and have absolutely no conscience about a guy paying for a date. Gold diggers literally get off on seeing how many guys they can scrounge money from.

    So in a typical girl's head it's like "I don't like him, so I don't want to waste money on him, let him pay and I just won't respond to his text if he wants a second date."

    So if you pay, the guy's thinking "This girl is cool, she doesn't use guys for money. She must actually be considerate to my financial needs. Maybe she does like me."


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Thumbs up to you.

    Guys (including me) are dumbasses compared to girls if it comes to such kinds of things. So I appreciate it when a girl uses clear codelanguage such as this.

    Guys are supposed to take care of their girl, right? In both physical and emotional sense. If a girl lets me pay for their dinner, she accept my role as a protective person.

  • So, what exactly is your question?

    I personally don't think too much into that kind of stuff. I don't think you should expect a guy to be able to read your mind.

    I always offer to pay for everything but I do appreciate a girl that can hold her own end.

    However, the moment I detect any "mind games," I drop the girl like a bad habit. Games are immature. I have zero tolerance for immaturity.


What Girls Said 2

  • The only time I would totally lost interest in a man is if he's the one asking me out and even choosing the place but insists on splitting the bill. I'll pay (it's not like I'm going on debt) but that would be our last meeting.

    Now if it's me asking out then that's a different story. It's not about gender but manners and common sense.

  • They probably like it because it takes the effort off of them. They thought they'd have to pay for both of you and only had to pay for himself he's probably thinking that's a sweet deal. Guys will keep trying because they think there's a chance. Guys don't know what's going on in your head unless you tell them "I don't like you like that and don't want to go on another date with you". He probably thinks you're one of those "independent women" who don't need no man to pay for their meal.