He canceled date with less than 24 hrs notice. is he taking me for granted?

We met 3 months ago and became official after 6 dates, he took me to meet his family and other relatives for Xmas Eve dinner it was the first time I meet everyone. He also took me to his work Xmas party and I'm the first girl he took to work.

Both work and family liked me a lot and told him to bring me more often.

So things seems to be going well, he sent me a text to cancel our date for 2mr.. he apologized for the late notice, reason being he has to help his dad to do work around the house and they must finish by tomorrow.

I'm not impressed... I told him it's cool so I can catch up with someone else. Also seeing him 4 times a week is a bit too much.

he replied thanks hahahha and sorry again.

So yea if he really is taking me for granted is it time to dump him?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes you are overreacting. He is not taking your for granted, you're just spoiled rotten. You can't come first in his life ALL THE TIME. He had to help his Dad, that is a legitimate reason to cancel a date. If you had a problem with it, then why did you lie to him and tell him it's cool? That's some passive aggressive stuff right there. You're not impressed with him? I'm not impressed with you. Time to take a step back and realize he had a life before you, with people in it already that care about him, and that he cares about . . . Good grief get a grip.

    • I never come first. I always feel like I'm at bottom of his list. Even on our first date he kept texting his brother. Basically whenever his family yank the chain and he would bark.

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    • Most people can find a healthy balance btwn supporting family and wife/children. I am loyal to my family, and so is my guy, but we're engaged now. Which means, he puts me first, and I put him first, no matter what. HE is my closest family now. If you don't think he is capable of loving you in this way, maybe he's not the right guy. I have a hard time believing you have this deep of an insight though, in a mere 3 months of knowing someone.

    • It's nice that both you and your fianc? are putting each other first. This is the kind of love I'm looking for.

      May be you're right about I can't make a judgement on how he will treat his wife only knowing him for 3 months. However I think there's some pretty good indication. He would text his brother and mom right away when he is on dates with me. Also he save his moms as "life love" on his phone. Also he is meditarenean background. Those men are always mommas boy

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What Guys Said 2

  • So on top of all those things, he is filial to his parents too.

    I definitely think he is too good for you as selfish and judgmental as you are. You should leave so that he can find a better woman.

    • Sounds like you are the judgmental one here. I'm the best thing he has ever had that's why his family and work loves me.

      Oh wait, may be you are just here to throw in your 2cents to collect points and to troll

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    • what an idiot

    • He introduced you to all those people and tried to include you into his life as much as possible. It is a virtuous thing to help one's parents, and there is much honor in that. He had a deadline, and he even apologized for the late notice.

      You asked if you should leave him over it. Who in there right mind couldn't make a judgement call about that? Its a no brainer to let it go, and hope he treats your parents just as well.

      But alas, you're not impressed. I doubt he would be either.

  • i think you are overreacting to take the leap to feeling taken for granted and considering dumping him.

    things come up and sometimes people will have to cancel plans. it's not fair to make conclusions about how he feels about you because he had to break a plan. he gave you fair warning and like you said you're seeing him four times a week.

    try to be more forgiving and not connect dots that don't line up...or don't need connecting

    • Fair enough. I just feel like him introducing me to his fams and work still doesn't mean I'm important to him I will take it slow and let him prove it to me

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    • ok so here's my last opinion.

      you shouldn't need constant reassurance of his feelings. like if he cancels a plan you need evidence somewhere that somehow this cancellation isn't a sign he doesn't like you. relationships are equal parts trust and evidence. that is to say, trusting a person likes you after seeing evidence of it. but it shouldn't mean that every day he needs to do something to prove how much he is into you. it's unfair for him and unhealthy for you.

    • whatever your exes did is in the past. you can take those lessons learned from those previous relationships and apply them but you can't declare your boyfriend guilty of all those exes violations. it's essentially like declaring him guilty from the beginning and making him prove that he's innocent. it should be the other way around. if you don't trust that this guy likes you then don't be with him, if you do trust that he likes uthen that's it. and a cancelled plan shouldn't burn that trust bridge

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you are blowing this out of proportion. Relax.

    • May be slightly...

      But being canceled is like a slap on my face. If you are too nice about it you become his doormat