How would you react to this if someone did this to your kid?

OK, I'm just wondering how this should be dealt with.

My son aged 7 was out playing on our house front yard, while he was playing comes this 9 year old girl who goes to the same school as him and this incident isn't the first time it is happening. It has happened a few times before including once on school premise, the principal of the school told me they can't take any action as no one saw it happening and it is difficult for them to take any action unless they have evidence.

This 9 year old who is taller and a bigger than him comes up to him, starts kissing him on his mouth, it isn't one of those kisses you would see on a Disney channel but something closer to what you would see in an R-rated film, she also had her arms around him and at times was holding onto his cheeks.

The mother of that 9 year old saw what had happened but didn't do anything until I went to where they were and shouted at the 9 year old to knock it off. I told my son's mother to bring him into the house and wash his mouth several times.

I then confronted the mother of that girl who acted as if nothing was amiss and said if my son didn't like it he could have said to stop. I told her I don't want to see her daughter within an arms length of him again and she simply said whatever.

What's the proper way to handle this?

We been trying to speak to the mother of that girl, she essentially said she isn't going to do anything to stop it and said it is only natural for kids to do such things with each other and had the cheek to ask if I preferred seeing her daughter do it with adults instead. She said as long as her daughter understood what she was doing then she isn't going to stop her from doing anything and simply said it is too bad she chose my son.

I felt like planting my fist in her face.


Most Helpful Girl

  • What does your boy think?

    Like... it's possible the boy doesn't mind, in which case you don't really neeeeeedddd to do anything. Sometimes kids *do* that kinda thing. But, either way the girl needs a serious lecture about consent, & if her mother isn't prepared to give it, yeah... I worry for her future partners. If the kid DOES mind though... Idk, I'd talk to the girl about it again, tell her *not* to do that. Follow up if she ever does it again, etc. Like, you have to be careful about this kinda thing cos... Like, I don't want to freak you out or nothing but... Sometimes kids do molest other kids, you know? It's a lot more common than you think. So, yeah... I'd take... pretty extreme measures, tbh. Including, if she keeps doing the kissing thing, taking him to another school, probably.

    You handled it well though. Be firm. If it happens again, talk to the school again and demand they do something. And talk to the parent again and demand she do something. Keep doing that... But yeah, talk with your kid about it too. Ask him how he feels about the whole thing. Ask him what he wants you to do. (it isn't always the best thing to take a kid at their word on what they say they want though - I know I asked not to be moved schools when I was getting physically abused & other heinous stuff... My mother was very good & listened to me, but... In the end I wish she didn't. Be mindful for stockholm syndrome etc) & just make sure it's something you and him can talk about, that he doesn't feel ashamed or afraid to talk about, & he can have those conversations with you when he gets older. That's important, I think...

    anyway yeah, sorry this is happening, good luck getting it sorted <33

    • We (his mother and me) spoke to him about what had happened, he doesn't exactly know what is happening and doesn't quite understand if that is something he should like or dislike.

      Placing him in a different school isn't an option as this is happening in Norway and the next school is almost 70 miles away.

      I'm just shocked this is happening and the girl's mother simply thinks it's nothing.

    • ahhh... Okay, damn. ughhh. She is being really fucked up about this. I'm so sorry <33 I hope she stops.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm glad my 7 year old daughter still thinks kissing is gross. Unfortunately you can't make people parent their own children you can only parent your own. You need to talk to your son about this and ask him question to have an understanding as to how much he knows and understands. This will start to give you an idea on what to talk about. I hear all the time about how 10 year olds already know what oral sex is.

    • Yes, we been talking to him about what happened and what else she has been doing to him.

      Urghhhhh... it just makes me sick even knowing a kid can do such things to another kid.

    • I know... I stress about this all the time. When I was 12 and in grade 8 guys in my class would ask if I spit or swallow I had no clue what they actually meant by that. My daughter in 5 short years will start her period give or take :(

What Guys Said 3

  • Its good to first ask the child about how he feels.

    I honestly think you did the right thing. However I think its not even time for you son to be involved with that kind of stuff.

    That woman shouldn't think its just because your son

    Its more about the fact how she needs to take priority.

    I can handle a little petty child love, but if my child had go through that. I'd teach my son about what happened, as well with establishing to know that he's too young to be doing stuff like that... and I'd have to give him something to keep his mind off it. like a video games...

    • The thing is that girl usually becomes the predator and attacks him especially if he is on his own.

    • I know what you mean, which is a difficult thing because children can be stubborn to not know when to stop.

      But I'd tell him to just be around friends that'll help him out to stop her, or just learn to really learn to fight it.

      But I'm so sorry but its really not an easy to find the perfect solution out it.

      Then again a conviluted plan should work (i'm throwing anything out now) to scare her off but I'm out of ideas.

  • Tell her more that she isn't start to learn at it's OK to just go up to boys and kiss them. If the mom gives you attitude, tell her that her daughter wil grow up to be as muc of a whore as she is

    • No point talking to the mother it seems, she doesn't seem to think what is happening is in any way wrong and most certainly her daughter isn't in the wrong.

      I told her really nicely I'd appreciate it if she could do something as the boy isn't mature enough to understand what is happening, she simply said that's just too bad he and me will just have to deal with feel like giving her a slap.

    • If they go to school together I'd say talk to the school. If not, than I'd say tell your son to stay away from her

  • Are you trying to make your son grow up to not like girls?

    • This isn't the age he should be doing such things