Conflicted about the dating life?

Recently I have been on a few dates with three different guys who age through 19-21. The dates I have been on went well and progressed to second/third dates. However, each guy brings something completely new to the table (metaphorically). Guy #1 is athletic, handsome, charismatic, goes to college, good sense of humor, BUT has told me 3x's how attractive my best friends are, even when I didn't ask him at all if they were! So, in a way that kind of tuned me off from him for now. Guy #2 is a tennis player, goes to college, has a job, a really sweet guy, but I don't really feel that physically attracted to him; his personality is great though. Guy #3 is an MMA fighter, quite handsome, very conversational, has a job, kinda sarcastic, BUT doesn't know what he wants to be/ do career-wise, even tho he's 21 already. SO, I have kissed each guy (second dates) to see who I have more of a chemistry/attraction to more, and I kinda messed around with Guy #2. Yet, after I didn't have any feelings of excitement with any of them...I don't want to lead any of them on. I really did like Guy #1, but after his kinda rude comments, I just don't know anymore. Any dating/guy advice would really help. I want to know if it's me who is emotionally disconnected from these guys, or there are any "red flags"/ warnings I should be seeing from them? Thanks.


Most Helpful Guy

  • When you say you messed around with Guy #2 how far did you, touching, hj, bj? If so did that change how you feel about him. As for #1 it sounds like you like him except for his big mouth, try telling him that you don't want to hear about your hot girlfriends, see if that mellows him out a bit.

    However, it is great that you have some choices...not everyone has those options.

    • We messed around as in some of those things, but we didn't go all the way. He does tell me I'm pretty but those comments about my close friends were not cool. I don't know how I would bring up that issue with guy#1, without sounding desperate or annoying? Should I give guy #2 &3 more time?

    • Hey if you don't say anything to guy #1 he won't stop. We all need reminders or suggestions from time on letting us know if we say something insulting or stupid. So I would say something to #1. As for #2 & #3...if you are comfortable messing around without full blown sex, then go for it until you can figure things out. Hang in there.

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What Guys Said 2

  • #3 seems like the better choice from my perspective. Not everyone knows what they want to do for a career at 21. That's still fucking young!

    Out of the other 2 choices (#1 who fancies your friends, and #2 who you're not physically attracted to) I'd say his flaw is the least important right now.

  • I would say 2# and 3# are the winners but If you don't like ether of them then you shouldn't keep seeing them but at the same time you won't really know them and their dreams goals etc all the stuff you want to know unless give it time after all love is like wine it ripens and gets better with age. So in the end the choice is yours to make also don't be to hard on the 21 year old guy I didn't even know what I wanted to be or do until a few months ago and I'm 20 so.


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