Is he too busy for me or does him having a kid change how he dates?

I am a 25 year old female, and recently started seeing a 30 year old guy. We met online and have been seeing each other in person for a little over a month now. When we first started talking he texted me all the time, and he was the one who asked to meet in person and wanted to start talking on the phone. When we first met we got along great, ended the first date with a kiss. I saw him 3 times the following week and we fooled around. Then I didn't see him again for 2 weeks, he always responds to my text messages and answers my phone calls or calls me back. He also initiates phone calls and texts as well. He does have a 3 year old son that he co-parents with the mother but they are no longer in a relationship and haven't been for a couple years. I am starting to think he isn't really that into me anymore, but I am not sure if I am just being paranoid or not. I hung out with him at his best friends place, and met his best friend, and then asked him to hang out two times after that and he couldn't. Once he said he was just tired, and the other time it was because he had his son. He always says he is sorry when we can't hang out and that he really does want to. Then I didn't text or call him for almost a week and he didn't contact me either and then he called me asking what was going on if we were OK and why I wasn't talking to him. I told him we were fine I just felt like he didn't want to talk to me and he said I was being a dork and that I know he is interested. We hung out this past weekend just at my place watching movies. At first he was really cuddly but towards the end of the night he started to get distant. He also said a couple times he wanted to start hanging out more and asked what I was doing the next day. Before he left things heated up and we ended up sleeping together. I didn't hear from him most of the next day so I texted him and he responded but said he couldn't hang out that night because he had stuff to do at home. He's very hot and cold, if I pursue him he always responds to phone calls and texts but usually declines on hanging out at all but always apologizes and says he wants to hang out and has a legit reason for not being able to. If I don't pursue him then he pursues me and we end up hanging out. I have never dated a guy with a kid so a lot of the time he declines its because he has his kid, but I get the feeling he has lost interest and just doesn't want to tell me.

*correction we only didn't talk to each other for 3 days instead of a week after hanging out at his friends place. This is what I mean, I felt like we hadn't talked forever but when I go through my texts we talked on a week night, and then he called me 3 days later asking if we were OK. After I talked to one of my friends about this she said that because he is older and has a kid he probably has a more laid back style of dating that I am not used to.


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  • what is evident is that he is not into you for whatever the reason. But perhaps it is a blessing. I am not sure if have factored in a child and an ex.They will make things complicated. You should look for someone who makes you feel special. Don't settle.