Where do you think this would go if I continued seeing this girl? please help!

Well long story short, I dated a gal off and on for a year now, with most of it being long distance. I met her while visiting my home town 2 hrs away. We hit it off great and the chemistry was there, but the distance put a great strain on the relationship between us. But at the same time, I had this feeling that she wasn't completely over an ex she had dated for five years prior to her meeting me. Something about her led me to believe she wasn't completely healed from this break up. She told me that it has scared her away from dating and that she didn't want to get hurt again. There was talk of me moving back on several occasions, because she asked me too. But with that said, I was torn because I didn't think she was looking for anything serious at the time. Arguments and frustration grew from having talks about all this, and we broke things off after 7 months.

There was a period of about 2 months, where we didn't speak. I broke the ice, and we started seeing each other again, this time around expecting different results. We went out for another month and the same problems arose. Another 3 months goes by again with no contact. After this, I convinced myself that I had to be done with her, no going back.

Fast forward to now. I moved back to my home town, and I bumped into her again a couple weeks ago. She seemed excited to see me and asked me if I moved yet. I told her I did, and she brought up the idea of going out again. I caved, and said ok! First few times we went out, everything was good. There was the flirting and touching and we even kissed a few times. Nothing more. The third time was completely different. She wouldn't even let me touch her and it felt really awkward! She couldn't even give me a reason for this weird behavior. This upset me and I left in the middle of the date. She told me a couple days later that she wasn't feeling it, and she wanted time to herself. This I don't understand after texting back and forth for a couple weeks and going on random dates.

After that, she's been extremely distant. I've tried to sit and talk with her about things, but she chooses to keep me in the dark. She texts me once and a while to ask what I'm doing, but that's it. I try to keep the conversation going, but get a bunch of two word responses. At this point, I don't know what to do, and I don't know what her intentions are either. I honestly feel like I'm getting played this time around, and there's more to the story that she fails to tell me. I still have feelings for her and when we started talking again, she told me the same. Part of me wants to see where things go with her, but the other part tells me to walk away. What would you do?

Id like to add, that any advice is appreciated. I've never dated anyone quite like her. I've had a couple of bad relationships, and they ended on a good note. I know I should use my better judgement and end this one, to keep my sanity, but would like another opinion. If anybody has been in a similar situation, id like your input. Thanks!


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like both of you are not quite ready to get back together just yet. She's acting like that because she's scared so every time she gets too close, she probably panics and distances herself.

    She cares because she will still text you to check up on you because she wants to have you in her life. I've felt this way before with guys where I will push and pull with them. I think the best thing for you to do if you want to have a shot at a healthy long lasting relationship with her is to give both of yourselves some space. Let her experience life completely without you. While you're doing that, work on bettering yourself and focus on areas in your life that you would like improved. maybe start working out, get a new job if you're not satisfied with your current one, pick up a hobby, read some books, etc.

    Sometimes what happens (and it has happened a lot with me) is that the girl will start to go out with other guys and they will not measure up to the other guy so we start to appreciate the first guy because we now see how good they were for us.

    But most importantly, I'm gonna ask you what your gut tells you. In my experience, our gut is always the best advisor. we just choose not to listen sometimes and go with the heart. If your gut is telling you to walk away because its hurting you more than it should be, I would listen to it. But if it truly tells you to keep fighting, no matter what everyone says - go with that.

    No matter how well you tell your story - nobody will feel what you feel and know exactly every little detail that happened. That's why its so hard for us to follow other people's advice. Only you know what is right and what is wrong.

    I would be happy to see what your own opinion is about what you should do. Keep me posted!


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What Girls Said 1

  • She seems to be just be confuse overall. Remember... she has history with her ex and 5 years is quite long time. She isn't playing you, it just seems that her heart is not allowing her too move on although she's attempting time again with you. You seem like a pretty nice guy and I am sure she sees this part of you but the problem here is with her, and I am pretty sure she knows that. I think she acts distance and xold because she knows she lets yoh down each tkme and so she is trying to stop that. Time is actually the best healing process. So be patient, ONLY IF YOU WANT and think she is wortn it or you can simply move on and not deal with this struggle, with someone whk has not had such a history with their ex. Good luck!


What Guys Said 1