How generic should you be on a dating site's "about me"?

I know some things can be read the wrong way or scare people off and you should try to be somewhat generic to attract a wider group:

So I have a filter version (what is basic and generic) and a true version (really describes me but may be too much)

What is better? Is my true version too unique or specific? Any advice?


I am a friendly, kind, and thoughtful girl. I am laid-back and fun to be around. Family is very important to me. I also love spending time with my friends.

True: (How I would REALLY describe myself, but I am scared it's too much!)

I am a friendly, kind and thoughtful girl. I am laid-back and I love to laugh and enjoy life, but I also have a serious side, and I'm very insightful. I am somewhat philosophical, and I think a lot, but you probably wouldn't guess that right away. I also like to read and I enjoy creative writing. I'm bubbly and talkative, but I'm somewhat of an introvert and you are more likely to find me having drinks and dinner with my friends than partying.My dream career is a psychologist or therapist because I like to help people, I'm a good listener, and I am good at understanding thought and emotion. Fitness is important to me, and I exercise regularly. I love to spend time with my friends, watch TV or movies, and listen to music.

The second one is more honest, but I feel like it is too "unique"...if you couldn't tell I'm kind of an individualistic person, I feel like there are so many aspects to me that are hard to put together and are easier to understand if you meet me..compared to conveying it in writing.



Most Helpful Guy

  • I use dating sites and would more likely respond to the second one.

    The first type of profile is a common generic profile a lot of girls use. I would literally think "Oh... another generic girl who is too lazy to fill out the profile and just wants attention."

    The second time is better, in my opinion is still filled with a lot of cliche terms I see on a lot of profiles. You can still keep it that way if you want. I'll point out the words I see on A LOT of girls' profiles for ya just as food for thought.





    "have a serious side"

    Those phrases aren't bad. Just pointing out that I see those kinds of descriptions almost every profile. So if you want to separate yourself from others you could just find synonyms to those words to get yourself away from looking like "just another profile."

    If you're using OKCupid you could just throw in your career and stuff in the other portions of the profile like "What I'm doing with my life" and stuff to have it more separated.


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What Guys Said 3

  • On dating sites, my advice to girls is to have some fairly specific info but not a novel on your profile then search guys profiles and then message them. As most genuine guys on dating sites receive very few messages and will give a girl the benefit of the doubt. But give him more to respond to than some generic mush and a message that just says "hi, I liked your profile" such as what about his profile did you like, and ask him a question.

    You "filler" profile is too short and says nothing, hence, it is useless.

    Your "true" profile also contains a lot of filler. Try and rephrase your true profile without the superfluous info. Some examples are

    - When a girl thinks how she'll be around her ideal partner it is assumed she will be friendly, and kind. If a guy is looking to have his balls busted then there are sites specifically for that.

    - Assume that everyone loves to laugh and have a good time, however what makes you laugh and what do you consider a good time?

    - "I think a lot" is not needed, you've already said you are thoughtful, insightful and philosophical, you can leave it at just the implication that you think a lot.

    Also try adding a few references to attributes in your ideal partner, such as would you like someone to exercise with? someone to engage in philosophical debates with? etc etc.

  • Do you want to attract guys generically or specifically? The first would attract more guys simply because it doesn't filter any out and there's nothing in it to turn off anyone. The second is more likely to attract the kind of guy you are probably looking for, who might pass on the first description because it seems so ordinary.

  • too much things I don't read just meet and learn better


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