Is my boyfriend really busy or just ignoring me?

Lately during exam period my boyfriend has been acting different and cold towards me... I send him a message in the morning asking something or a simple how are you and he doesn't answer. Then I end up having to phone him a couple hours later and he says he's been busy but I still don't think that a 10 second message takes up too much of your time. He's in a difficult course at uni and has a lot of work to do granted but he never sounds interested to meet me any more like he has way better things to do and like all I do is nag :/... that's how I've been feeling these days. We've been together for 2 years and we're very close. Girls has your guy ever given you these type of 'busy working' excuses for not texting or phoning almost all day unless you do so yourself? Was it genuine or not and how did you feel ? Thanks


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's just ignoring you. Stop nagging him already!

    j/k hahaha. Sorry, couldn't resist :)

    Ok serious answer-

    But first, serious questions - In the past does he communicate well? What is the emotional state of the relationship? Are there fights that never ended and issues left unspoken between you two?

    If the relationship is as smooth as silk then just talk to him about it and the busy answer could be a big part of it. If the relationship is anything else, well, yeah he's blowing you off :)

    • haha you blew me off guard a bit there :P ... we're very close and we talk about anything... we have fought about many things but are constantly trying to resolve them such as wanting to go to different places, hang out with different people and speak in a nicer way to each other or not ignore each other. Those are the major things we've fought about but we are trying to fix them... at least I'm trying on my end although I don't feel like he is that much

    • Thing is I already told him I'm feeling this way and he's always like 'I'm too busy can't you see how much work I have to do!? I don't feel like this lovey dovey stuff...' but I don't believe him cause no matter how busy you are if you care about someone you should take a few minutes off to speak to them about something relaxed right?

    • I think he cares, but maybe not as much as you think he does. That doesn't mean its a dead-end, it just means it needs more time. Your first comment is perhaps the most telling, where if you feel that you are putting in all the effort to bring it together and he isn't trying on his end that doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship at all, and may preclude a dead-end relationship. While asking for his best effort NOW is probably a bad idea, he eventually needs to match yours.

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What Guys Said 1

  • it's exam period. you've got to give him a break for a bit.

    if after exam period ends the behavior doesn't change then you may have a concern. exams are important, time consuming and stressful. don't add stress to the situation

    • I know cause I have exams too... but certain small efforts I believe don't take that much effort anyway like sending a simple message or remembering to do something etc.

    • Show All
    • you could tell him that you do feel a bit alienated but the fact that he is such a industrious student I probably would just let him be because if he felt his grades were negatively affected due to giving attention to you he'd probably resent it

    • yep! That's exactly what I don't want to happen cause it will just blow up in my face!

What Girls Said 2

  • Wait to see how it is after his exam period. It can honestly be a stressing moment and sure ten seconds to send a message is nothing but when you work hard for your exam, you're focus on your work and kind of forget everything around.

    See how he reacts when it's over.

    • I know cause I have exams too but exams end in a month and I feel like it's too far away to find out his true intentions :/

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    • You're lucky I wish I lived with my bf!

    • It's not always easy but it's really awesome :)

  • For me my fiance is on call 24/7 and he is working on massive projects for work. I understand he's busy but he also keeps his phone on silent so it annoys me at times

    • is he an engineer? lol if yes then I understand totally !

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    • oh I see... men lol

    • I don't mind I'm a geek too.