Dating an insecure guy.

I think the guy I started dating is rather insecure. he constantly needs validation that I am interested in what he is saying etc. is this because he is insecure with me or in general?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Is he asking for validation in just about everything or is it just when talking about certain stuff? I mean, a person can be very insecure about some things while being a confident person in general.

    • like on date if at anytime he is telling a story or really talking about anything and I don't seem interested enough its like he actually says, it seems you aren't even interested in what I like

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    • well for eg. we saw a nice shade of blue and were going on about what shade of blue we both like. the convo went on, I got the idea of what kind of blue he liked. but he just kept going. he was like, see I like that blue behind you. I did not turn around because I was eating and I had understood his colour. he was then like you didn't even turn around and look. its as if you don't care what I like. but he did that so many times. like if I didn't show 100 percent enthusiasm would accuse me of not caring

    • Confront him with it when you next talk - before it actually happens - and he'll get a receipt he can't deny on that you do care. Being a short guy myself I can relate although I got over those insecurities long ago. Insecurity is rather infectious but in the end you have to understand that external validation will never fix the core problem. You need to accept yourself or it won't matter how many others do. Talk to him about it and make sure he understands that.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Did you ever think that something tramatic made him this way? You could also be sending mixed signals.

  • Insecure? Maybe, but some women can be full of mixed messages too and maybe he has experienced a lot of that in the past. Ask him about his past relationships and dates and maybe there might be a reason why he's acting the way he is.

    • yes. perhaps I am giving mixed messages too. but that is because well iv only been on a few dates. I am unsure myself how I feel. isn't this normal to be unsure and just go with the flow at first. I am not going to be fake and be OVERLY interested and eager. its almost like he needs me to do that.

    • he had a 4 year relo just over a year ago and it didn't end badly. so I don't know why he would be behaving in ways which he should be skeptical of my behaviour from. its not like he was used, lied to, cheated on, betrayed.

  • probably insecure with you

    • could this be because he really likes me and isn't sure what I want?

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