How to not act like a girlfriend when you are just DATING and not yet a girlfriend?

I have heard stories of guys getting scared off when the girl acts like a girlfriend when they are only dating. What does such activities consist of and how can you avoid doing them?

Some examples given were making food for them all the time. Showing up consistently with baked goods. such and such.

How often can you do thoughtful things for a guy when in the dating phase or should a girl just let the guy do the sweet stuff and initiate activities?


Most Helpful Guy

  • To me the most important part of your question was "I have heard stories"

    Girls get worried about so many things just because other girls scare them.

    Unless you know yourself to be a clingy or overly "cutesie" type of person, there is probably nothing to worry about, because there is no hard line between dating and serious relationship. It evolves naturally. Girls are often more affectionate than guys. We're used to it. Why you think we like girls in the first place? Girls are awesome. Even if you're the extra affectionate type, he might like that, so depending on what kind of a match you are, it could be a mistake to hide your personality.

    Also, how long do you consider the dating "phase" to be? Are you on date 6 or 12? At some point it's either time to have "the conversation" or you're basically a couple by defacto.

    So the real question is, are you asking because you are seriously concerned you might be too clingie too early? Or are you asking simply because like many women, you're worried about being as attractive as possible to men?

    Sure, it's good to have boundaries, and be independent. The most important thing is having a life of your own and not leaning too heavily on your partner. Then you don't really have anything to worry about. The only reason people get put off by a partner being too attached too early is that it's a sign of them being needy. It creeps people out. It's the vibe. Things like calling all the time, sharing every event of your life no matter how insignificant, too many compliments, always being available, these give a bad vibe.

    But, women worry far too much about being attractive to men, and far too little about just maturing as a person and growing for their own sake. Nothing more attractive than a women who knows who she is and is always growing and learning


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm confused. If a guy is dating a girl isn't she already his girlfriend. Hear say gets you no where. If I'm dating a girl and she like to cook and I like to eat and she brings some baked cookies, muffins, brownies etc. etc., will that scare me off NOPE I'm going to take that plate get me some milk and enjoy my gift. All guys are not the same and until he tell her what he like she'll keep doing what she think makes him happy. The only reason something a girl does might scare him off is if she's too much of the wrong thing. Let's say your guy doesn't like baked goods lets say he collect baseball cards why would you keep bringing baked goods if he doesn't want them. Guys like when girls do thoughtful things for them no matter how tough of an act we put on but as long as its something we like. Smother him with things he like and he'll stay put.


What Girls Said 1

  • Bakin in general is out, multiple gifts, staying over, planning more than a couple weeks jn advance, leaving stuff at his place, meeting friends unless by accident, meeting parents, talking about meeting parents, dropping by unannounced, buying things together, asking for a pet, talking about how you want kids with him (unless its I don't want/can't have kids in which case I'd say something), any talk of jewellery unless initiated by him,