From casual to committed - with a twist

I've been in a casual friends-with-benefits scenario for a couple of years with a guy whom I met whilst living overseas.

Since then have we been hooking up sporadically when we see each other (it's only been a few times and we've never had sex) we have just got naked and fooled around. Whilst we both live in the same country now we are not in the same city and I'm planning on seeing him again soon.

It's kinda weird as we talk frequently, sometimes daily - but only via text message. We've shared some pretty personal details about ourselves, our families, and past relationships, but only via text.

We've both seen other people during the past few years we've known each other, but recently I've started to want more - the more that I get to know him (albeit only via text).

I'm pretty "inexperienced" in the bedroom & before I have sex with him I'd like to know where I stand & if he's keen on the idea of seeing more of each other.

Am I asking for too much going from casual to committed when he doesn't know just how inexperienced I am? I plan on being upfront about that when I see him next, but before I do it'd be good to know how much he does like me.

Am I being irrational?

Sorry for the long message!


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What Guys Said 1

  • I would describe your relationship currently as an intense friendship more than anything. Under the circumstances it would be hard to not have stronger feelings along the way. The problem might be one of timing. He might not have those feelings currently or he may have them for someone else. I see the question as how to make this complex relationship into a simple committed long distance one. That might be a stretch. I doubt that your inexperience would be a problem. However adding sex into the mix is likely to make this even more complex. It's likely to intensify your feelings but may not do so for him. In any case, before your feelings get to the point of no turning back it would be good to tell him how you feel.


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