Is your SO the person you were around the most when dating?

When you started to fall in love with your Significant Other, was he/she the one person that you were spending the most amount of time with?

Was he a constantly a part of your life, or did you value that both of you had your own lives that did not overlap too much, yet there was just this emotional and physical connection that even best friends could not satisfy?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am going to be blatantly honest. He was my third choice. The amazing boyfriend I've loved and treasured for 5 years now was originally my 3rd choice, and I rejected him 3 times before finally becoming his girlfriend!

    I went totally nuts for Guy #1, despite never actually dating. Guy #1 rejected me, broke my heart, and made me much more pragmatic about seeking the emotional upper hand in relationships before investing anything. I transformed myself from a shy humble wallflower into a sought-after shameless flirt within a month.

    Guy #2 liked me, and I liked him, but I was shy the first two times he made a move, and I inadvertently discouraged him, because I thought he'd keep trying just a little more. We liked each other passively for years, in between relationships and other crushes. I loved dancing and having random debates with him. He was my fantasy bad boy who wasn't quite confident to keep up the flirty banter long enough to score with me haha.

    My boyfriend liked me like crazy for a whole year, during the whole time I liked guy #1. When my boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend, I didn't think it would last but asked for an open relationship, so it wouldn't be serious and I could finally get to know guy #2. However, my boyfriend said he didn't know what open relationship meant and preferred an official one. He asked me to be his girlfriend 3 times, before I said yes. He never got mad or pouty when I said no, so I gradually changed my mind about him.

    Guy #2 was with another girl at this time, and I hadn't really talked to him several months, so I figured he didn't like me as much as I'd originally suspected. I decided to move on with my life after my passionate obsessive crush on Guy #1 (and sorta hoped my new relationship would be salt in a wound to him, though I'm ashamed to admit that). However, despite being affectionate with my boyfriend (before we were bf/gf) in front of Guy #1, Guy #1 did not care one bit.

    Conclusion? I was totally naive. My boyfriend is AMAZING! He cherishes me, but gives me space. We are each others' first real relationships, and have been together for 5 years so far without a problem. He always talks about the future like "of course we will be married someday", and has talked like that ever since the week we started going out. I don't know if that will actually happen, but he's a great guy and I'm VERY lucky to have him :) Maybe things will work out long term after all...

    Thus: my boyfriend/SO sort of forced himself into my life by making himself very available/agreeable, so it was easy for me to fit him into my schedule. He was persistent, and that was the key. That's why things never worked out with Guy #2. My boyfriend still tries really hard to make all of our dates fun, so I came to associate "being with him" with "fun". Now, our lives overlap a LOT! I have no complaints. He's now my best friend, confidant, study buddy and partner in crime! He's vunderful and I love him <3

    • Thank you for sharing your story.

    • Wow. I agree, thank you for sharing your success story. :) Both of you sound amazing and I think you'll have a great future together! Having fun, being honest and never giving up is the key to anyone's heart.

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What Girls Said 3

  • hmm… I started spending more time with him, but I made sure that I balanced my life out with my family and friends as well, because from experience I know that I like couples who involve themselves with groups rather than being isolated and all over each other.

    the lives of my boyfriend and I do overlap. he only became part of my life in 2013. the 2 lives seem to overlap once you start dating I think. wer best friends in love around other people, but when wer alone, well we can just relax a bit more in each others company and I love that=]

    • That sounds like you know what you want. I feel that couples who spend time apart as well to be really great couples too! Every minute together is a meaningful one!

    • yeah of course it all depends on the personalities of the 2 and what works better for them:)

  • Well I'm not in love with him seeing as we've only been dating a few months, but I do really like him. We both have our own social lives and whatnot and see each other as much as we can. I usually spend a few days with him at a time, then go a week or so without. We enjoy each others' company and have a lot in common. Most importantly, we're both at the same stage of our lives with similar priorities.

    • Yes, having the same priorities right now is really important! It lets both of you agree on how often to meet up and what you expect on each other right now, all important points in managing the expectations in a relationship!

    • Yep. It's a blissfully easy going relationship and I like that.

  • The guy I feel I share a emotional/ physical connection with that way. he and I live two completely different lives. yet I feel I can share every and any thing with him and he'll understand.


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