How do I tell him I want to date him again?

I met this guy through a friend of mine. We initially hit off and ended up communicating daily through texts, phone calls, Facebook etc. Eventually we went on a couple of dates and he told me that he decided he wasn't in a place to be with anyone right now. Fair enough, we never even kissed so I was able to move on fairly quickly and still hang out with him and his friends. Well about a month ago he through a series of texts over the course of a few days/couple of weeks started making suggestive comments about him still thinking about us in sexual ways. I entertained it farther than I should have but ended it by saying that I wasn't looking for a friends with benefits thing and he said he knew that and respected me to much to let that happen. But the conversation still sort of went that way until I was finally like, please do me a favor and stop talking about us in that way. He said "okay" and then it got further complicated a few days later when I made few off handed sexual comments to him through texts (not directed at him…and I do that with my friends…like I'm gonna eat all of this cake since I'm not getting laid or something like that). He got annoyed at me and the conversation was brought up again about us together. Basically a "fight" ensued about us both respecting each other to much for not letting anything jeopardize it but then kept saying if something were to happen it wouldn't be casual. so now I'm so confused as to what his trying to say/imply. so I say well let me know when you figure out in what way you want our friendship to continue. Then he got confused and subsequently annoyed so we stopped talking. A week went by with zero talking until finally he said lets just drop this…so I did.

Here's where the question comes into play. Now that he's brought all that back up, I see him in that light again. I never ended things with him, he ended it with me. I've also seen him a ton with our friends this month and it's made me want him even more. I'm suspecting he likes me through his body language but I don't think anything will naturally occur at this point because things got so awkward between us like a month ago. Since now I can't stop thinking about him and clearly still have feelings for him I want to approach him about it, but I don' know how. Given what you've just read, how would you approach this situation? Also note that we are rarely alone together and our group of friends is only like 5-6 people so it's like people are always watching. He also told me that even if I got super drunk and threw myself at him he wouldn't do anything because he respects me to much….. HELP! I feel like the only option is a conversation, but I don' t know what to say and how to say it.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well I'm not to good at this kind of thing and my ideas are likely a little corny. Hence that's why I'm single. LOL!

    So take this for what it's worth.

    Yes this must be done face to face. Not text, e-mail or any other such thing.

    It seems sex talk is what started this problem. So...

    Ask him out for dinner and drinks, a coffee, whatever.

    And just talk. General conversation. No relationship stuff. No sex talk. Let things flow. Be friends. Butter him up, not literally...Well at least not in public. JK. Say things like "great guy...Funny...Caring...compassionate...etc" see what kind of response you get. Either verbally or body language. See if he reciprocates. If not. I don't think you have much of a chance. If he does. Play it cool. Maybe give subtle hints. Hopefully at the end of the night he'll say something like "I had a great time...We should do it again" If he doesn't, you say it.

    Maybe the next day text him restating the great time thing. just no talk of sex or relationship. See if you go out together a few times. Just let it happen don't force it.


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