He doesn't want to hurt me but he's can't do anything official right now?

I've been dating a guy. It was all great and then he pulled away. He still kept in contact with me but he was very distant and didn't initiate plans to see me. I told him to think about what he wants because he has been acting very weird towards me. A day later, he told me that he really likes me and has a great time when we're together. He wish we could see each other more. He said he realizes that everytime we see each other it does become sexual but that's because he is very attracted to me. The reason he is being weird is because he doesn't want to hurt me and he thinks that I want something more official from him but he can't give that to me right now. I told him that I guess he is right, and that I appreciate his honesty but I also let him know that I hope he can respect the fact that I will not longer see him anymore. He apologized to me again and said that he is sorry he can't give me what I want and that the last thing he wants to do is hurt me or lie to me. I told him " If it's not there, it's not there, it's ok" We left it at that and now it's pretty much over. My question is what is a male perspective on this? Did I do the right thing in this situation? Is this a way for men to tell women "I'm not that into you?" I guess I really liked him, that I came here to seek some kind of advice, I thought he did too. Kind of left me speechless and a little hurt. =/


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What Guys Said 1

  • This is not how men express a lack of interest in a woman. This is how they express fear of commitment. That sort of thing is not personal so it probably doesn't reflect you. He probably did like you a lot. However, this doesn't simply go away. There is a good chance that he won't come around for a long time, if ever. Your response was sensible and there probably isn't much else you could have done.


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