Second date jitters! help please?

Ok, I may be 26 but I've only had one serious relationship. That ended in November. I went on a nice coffee date last week with a woman and the next day I asked her to dinner. She said yes, so we're going tonight. She asked my ideas and I gave her a few and she said she likes lots of different things so I should choose. I chose Cheesecake Factory. It's a fun enough place. I've been a few times before. Might be a little pricier then Olive Garden or something but I'd never go there on second date. I'm planning on picking up the bill anyway. I've had a couple people express reservations at this though.

One said it's unoriginal and not great food. Another said it might seem to fancy and stress my date out. I have a hard time believing the place could be seen as too fancy, but I thought it had a nice setting and good lighting for a date, unlike the fluorescent lights of other places.

Am I wrong?

Also, I'm dressing up just slightly. She's coming from work and I don't want to wear the same pair of dress jeans all over again (all my others are casual Wranglers. Lousy for a date IMO), so I'm wearing a nice shirt and dress pants.

Finally, hugging? Kissing? My ex told me that she wasn't sure I was interested when I was never went for a kiss until our third date, and that was on her cheek. If I hadn't done that, I'm told I never would have seen a fourth.

What should I do to show romantic interest in this girl tonight? I may or may not be picking her up. She said she'll call me when she leaves work to tell me what works better for me. We didn't hug or kiss at the end of the first date. I never made a move, I'll admit. Hug when I first see her again? Go for a kiss at the end?

So anyway, second date idea, plus what do I do. Thoughts?


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What Girls Said 1

  • As far as a hug or a kiss, go with your instinct. Pay attention to how you feel and the vibes you are getting from her during the course of the date. You will know if there is chemistry, so gauge your "move" based on that. I wouldn't object to a peck on the lips (or cheek if you feel more comfortable with that) at the end of a second date.

    I think the outfit you picked out is fine. Sounds very clean cut and shows you put some thought into looking nice for her. A bit of advice I'll give, which I've gained through experience: be sure not to wear too much cologne, if any, and brush and mouthwash before you go! Also, bring breath mints and offer her one after you've finished dinner or dessert. I think that's kind of sexy, but also practical.

    Have you considered a small local restaurant instead of a chain restaurant such as Cheesecake Factory? Ask around, or look online for reviews (Yelp, for example). You'd be surprised at how many reasonably priced places are out there. Plus, they have more character than a chain place. I'd be more impressed if a guy took me to a great local pizza place, the kind where they make their own crust, for example. Or how about a fun local diner? You can share a malted milkshake, and some have jukeboxes in the booths. If you live in a city, how about visiting a couple of food trucks? A Mexican restaurant would have cool d├ęcor, music and cheap yummy tacos. In my area you can get a taco for less than 3 bucks. How about a bar and a few munchies, enough to constitute dinner?

    Rest assured, the Cheesecake Factory will be just fine anyway. It's the conversation that counts most. You sound like a charming young man, and I am sure she'll be impressed with whatever you do. Just be sure to relax and act confident, even if you may not feel it inside! I wish my dates were as caring and kind as you. Have fun!

    • Yeah, I did consider some place smaller. Truth is though, I'm not up on a lot of local places, or the ones I am, have memories of my ex that I don't want to drag into the date. I just wanted to take her to a nice dinner. In the state I'm in, this is the only location lol.

      I do like your ideas, and thank you for your advice.

      Say, if she asks me to pick her up, would lightly saying, 'Hey, what if we went someplace smaller instead!' seem flaky, or should I just stick to the plan?

    • I think that would be just fine. Trust your instincts! They seem to be very good.

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