So I got the girl but not quite - what do I do?

Ok long story shot I meat a girl and she had a boyfriend but we hit it of as friends. A month later we got really close and you guessed it we kissed. She broke it off and said it was a mistake and a couple of days later we decided to stay just friends. Well that didn't work out really well since we couldn't do it and we got together. It's now about four months since we sort of got together and we've had quite a few really big problems and some how got over everything and we've gotten closer and closer. We've even realized and said to each other that we love each other and want to spend our lives together.

Now the thing is her relationship is going nowhere and it's gone form bad to worse but since it's her first real long term relationship she's still holding on and she's not sure she's doing the right thing.

Now I know she loves me I can feel it but I can also see that she's scared of taking a step forward because that would mean that she would have to lose something that she knows to gain something she wants but is relatively new and she isn't completely sure about.

My question is what can I do to get her. I really love this girl. I don't know I haven't meat someone like her in a really long time and I think she feels very similarly. I think that I even feel something that I'd be willing to settle down with her and marry her and have children in the long run and she's also said this.

I just don't know how to prove to her that she doesn't have to worry about it and that I'll always try to be there for here and make it easy for her to make the leap.

Any suggestions on what to do?

Since I've stuck in for four months I'm apparently willing to stick in there.

Thanks for the help.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think your being played I think as adults, that its not.

    Cut and dry and that's it, and if there's children involved it makes the situation harder. Cause you have a whole lot to consider entering in a new you should be proud that you have a young women that take her life seriously and consider others also.

    Responsibility is a must. Stick in there if you can I'm sure she appreciates it. And that give your relationship that much depth... Rome wasn't built in a day! :-)

    • You know that's exactly what she said and she said she appreciates me not pushing her in either direction. Thankfully there are no children involved.

      And yes I'm sticking in there because I think she's worth it I just hope that in the end we can be together and I'm not wasting my time. Sometimes I feel like she's trying to suppress the feelings she has toward me in order to make it easier to cope with the situation. But I don't know. Thanks for the support anyway.

    • Show All
    • I don't know. She said she needed some distance to clear her head and didn't respond to anybody not even her best friend because she called me and asked if I've heard from her and that she just got a sketchy text saying she's fine. But she did call me and talk to me and write me and texted me. Although I don't know why since I said I understand she wanted distance and I said she didn't have to worry I would keep the distance. Maybe she's feels guilty but I don't know why now it's been 4 months.

    • Oh yeah grate. We just had a huge fight she told me that we're done and it's over and was really acting in a way that she didn't care about me. Happy Valentine's day to me. :-(

What Guys Said 1

  • You are being played. You can't get her. She wants to stay in that relationship. Otherwise, she would have left him the instant you came along. You are setting yourself up for a world of hurt, my friend.

    • I don't know at one point I would have agreed with you. But stuff that has happened between me and her has made me think otherwise. I know she has some issues in her life and I think she has a very big fear of change. I mean I've seen her when she wanted to let go of the relationship but after talking about it with her I think I saw that she's afraid of big change in her life and I think it's a result of some past stuff that happened to her.

      So I don't know I really hope you are wrong.

    • Bookmark this question, I'll put $20 saying I'm not.

    • I don't know. I mean I was in a similar situation a couple of years back. I was with my girlfriend and fell in love with another girl and it took me a year to figure out a way how to leave my current girlfriend so that I could be with the other one because I didn't want to hurt her. So I can relate in a way. And I wasn't playing anybody.