Guys, do you agree with these rules for women for securing a 2nd date?


I'm especially interested in wondering if guys generally agree with women giving a kiss/short peck on the lips on the 1st date, and not initiating any texting?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'll just mention to begin with that you should not view the goal of the first date as getting a second date. The goal of the first date should be to see how you connect. You can't keep up an act indefinitely. If you two genuinely like each other, more dates will happen, and if you don't genuinely like each other, hiding that just prolongs things before it falls apart ...

    1) I think she's got cause and effect backwards. Men who ask you out are showing an interest in you and its likely they'll want a second date if you're up for it. Men you as out, you're showing an interest and its likely YOU want a second date if they're up for it. The issue isn't that the woman asking is a problem, the issue is that people pursuing you are on average more interested in you then people you are pursuing. Which will lead to a better relationship? It may not matter.

    2) Agree. I think its okay in some cases to do more, but showing a genuine interest beyond 'that was pleasant chatting' is important.

    3) I think if he asked you out and took you out you can thank him. Don't look for this to be getting you a date though, its just being polite.

    4) Agree

    5) Agree

    6) I think the 'rule' is strict but her description is good. You can mention things you did with various people, if you're hung up on one person its not ideal. at all.

    7) Yeah, I think so. Women may be projecting what they find attractive, they seem to love men who are so busy they have no time for them.

    8) Yes. You can be busy and try to schedule, but if its busy because that's when your normal aerobic class is, seriously?

    9) Nice suggestion. It shows you're willing to invest without the 'split the bill/separate checks' suggestion of being friends. Letting him pay for you but treating him is a good approach.

    10) Sure? Its really hard to make this sort of thing a rule, because it's a balance. You probably want it to not be noticeable, so if you're noticeably brash or shy, aim more for the middle.

    11) No, I don't agree, but maybe I'm fortunate to be observing people dating in a city with masses of singles. If you're not feeling chemistry, or interest, go find another first date.


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What Guys Said 2

  • 1.) Yeah, probably. But you can incept the idea of asking you on a date into his mind.

    2.) Yep.

    3.) Yeah, probably.

    4.) Absolutely.

    5.) Yep

    6.) Meh... I'm a fan of airing out your laundry early, but each to their own.

    7.) Yep

    8.) Yep.

    9.) Yep.

    10.) Yep.

    11.) Yep.

    • Thanks. Why do you think it's important for women to not text a man or initiate it after a date?

    • Show All
    • Thanks...He texted me after he got home. I replied and we joked for a bit. Argh, then the next day (Sunday) I texted him every few hours and he the same, and he was making effort at carrying on the convo, and incorporated lots of emoticons and "!"...Then nothing for Monday or today (Tuesday)...So, I may have appeared clingy by texting him Sunday?

    • Just wait it out. Maybe he was just busy.

  • 1. That's expected, because most women are literally terrified at the thought of getting turned down for a date, because it's soul-crushing for them and their egos.

    2. Agree, without a kiss at the end of a first date, I assume it's done and there's no second date.

    3. Not texting the man after the first date? Unless you're so old that texting is still new, then that's really going to hurt your chance of getting a second date.

    As for the rest? Pretty solid advice.


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