How often to communicate when you start dating someone?

So I've been dating this man for about 3 months.. if that! actually he and I started taking the 1st of December and finally met in person on December 20th.. and we've been pretty serious about each other.. we aren't dating anyone else and we have been committed to each other sexually since that first happen. But we aren't in a relationship and we've discussed how we aren't ready for that. We both want marriage and take it seriously so jumping in isn't a desire..

anyway.. here's my problem.. I talk to him daily and all throughout the day.. If I don't contact him he will even make a big deal about it.. BUT I only see him about twice a month. I have told him several times that I do not like this and he needs to give me more if he wants to to continue with him. He says that he has a lot of walls up and is cautious and doesn't wanna jump into anything only to have it fail.. To me I think he has commitment issues. Oh and he told me we would celebrate Vday on Sunday but then I ask him what he's doing tomorrow and he says he is prob going out to the city. I ask him who and he wouldn't really give me a straight answer and said that he didn't think we would hang out on actual Valentine's day because we aren't boyfriend and gf...

So I'm confused here.. is it me? or what?


Most Helpful Girl

  • normally when we start dating someone we call the person all day long to know how is he. but after you've met him or know his character (which you might not really like) you might call him a bit less. you said that YOU are the one to call... so this mean that he just does not call you back? and when you said committed to each other sexually you mean that you already fucked but not yet a couple? normally in real relationship... couples fuck together after they are close enough to each other and that they form ONE... he does not seem frank... BE VERY CAREFUL TO THOSE TYPE OF GUYS!!! because i have close friend who was with a guy (for more than five months) whom she met very rarely because he was busy working. but in fact my poor friend discovered that the guy was already engaged and that he will get married very soon.. she broke into pieces... i don't really know who you are but this is my advice to you and i don't want you to end up the same way as my best friend!

    • No, I never contact him... he contacts me.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I've been dating someone for about 3-4 months and we talk to each other every few days. We live a few hours from eachother and generally see eachother a few times a month (for a few days at a time). Neither of us are big on texting, etc so it works for us.

    Your situation sounds weird. He wants to talk to you all the time, but see you infrequently. That sounds backwards to me. He's also being flaky and telling you he has issues. I'd be careful.

    • Thanks. I agree.. I've since backed off but he still contacts me.

    • Hmm well good luck! I hate the confusing ones lol.

  • Yeah, he has commitment issues or at least he isn't very interested. Maybe he is a bit lonely and wants someone to talk to throughout the day. If he doesn't fully commit, its probably because he isn't actually interested in a serious relationship. I've done that to a guy before, I said yes then no. He was a great guy but I wasn't actually interested and made up excuses just so I wouldn't go out with him. If he really did want a relationship he would go to you as much as possible just to see you. Don't be too bummed out, its best to end it now, and meet someone who'd want to be your bf, sooner.