Feeling like I'm not good enough?

So I am dating this guy that graduated two years before me back in high school, now that we are 20 (me) and 22 (him) we kind of met up and started talking. During high school he dated 3 different girls that were pretty active and popular/rich like he was. He isn't extremely fit but he is very active and his entire family is too. He is also very well-off. I, on the other hand, was never really part of the popular crowd and have always been rather poor. On top of that, I have been struggling with diabetes/weight problems since I was in kinder and am about 40 pounds overweight. I am not obese but I am farrr from fit. He has been nothing but nice to me and it all seems like a dream. We have been dating for about 3 weeks now and it just all seems so perfect, but I am afraid that when truths start coming out (like our friends being different, maybe his family not liking that me and my mom are poor, or just thinking he can do "better"), then it is all going to hurt so much. I typically run away from guys that seem as perfect with him, but he makes me so happy that I am scared to both hold on and let go lol. I have already started trying to lose more weight, I go to school and have a job. He says that I am pretty and I of course will respect his family when it comes time but it's just hard to accept that he actually likes me. I feel like something is going to wrong very soon or I am just filling a void for some other girl that may not like him right now. Any advice or comments?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop being scared. He wouldn't be dating you if he found you unattractive. Just go with it. Deal with the problems as they come up (if they come up at all).

    It's kinda sad that so many people have an inferiority complex. There's probably a very good reason why he's dating a girl like you versus the super pretty/popular/rich girls that you saw in high school... you get points for all your correct answers.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Darling, take a deep breath. Relax : ) Take a moment to acknowledge all of your blessings.

    It's perfectly natural and very common to get jealous especially when there's something you may have always desired yet never been fortunate enough to attain and from the outside looking in: it appears someone else has what you want. Just know this: to be jealous is to be ungrateful for your own blessings, possibilities, and potential. There is an abundance of blessings in this world. I promise you! There are so many intangible gifts that people have trained their eyes not to see and it's one of the saddest things one can do to their psyche.

    Don't assume that the girls from his past had it all because they had money and popularity. There have been countless rich, well known people throughout history and even in modern society who felt empty because there were intangible blessings their money couldn't buy. So don't feel like you have to compete with his past. After all, surely these girls are his past for some legitimate reason. You can't measure your worth so low, especially in comparison to people you've never truly gotten to know, just merely known the surface details of who they are. It's not healthy and it's not fair to you.

    The whole money thing really isn't as big of a deal as you are making it out to be. For one, rich guys tend to find more humble, less rich girls without that "spoiled mentality" because it's refreshing to them. Next, it makes one hell of a story! :D Just look at Aladdin and Jasmine <3 You could be living one great romance, if you would only let yourself : )

  • You ARE good enough.

    You didn't ask for health conditions or to be poor and you're working to improve both so that's really good :)

    You have nothing to be insecure about.. if he likes you as you are than there ya go? DOES HE LIKE YOU AS YOU ARE? That's what you need to ask yourself.. If he does you have no need to feel insecure?

    Having more money or being physically healthier doesn't make someone "better" than someone else.

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