Anybody else think dating is stupid?

I am a virgin at almost 25 years old. I have never kissed a woman, I have never approached a woman, and I have never had a serious relationship with a woman ever in my life. Honestly, the whole process looks stupid and is a waste of time. I don't believe in true love or soulmates. I don't even want children. It's all just a childhood fantasy people have in my opinion that isn't real. Even as a college student, I just have no idea why 2 people want to commit themselves to each other. It looks boring. Why do people date? I don't get it...


Most Helpful Girl

  • There's a lot you get out of a successful relationship.

    My boyfriend and I have been together for four years and it's amazing. Having him means having-

    - a person to love and support me through everything

    - someone to fall asleep and cuddle with

    - sex basically whenever we want

    - someone to share my favorite movies/books/tv shows/comics/games with

    - a best friend who knows you better than any other

    - someone to share secrets/dreams/ambitions/goals with

    - someone to talk with about anything

    - someone I could spend my whole day with doing nothing but watching movies or cuddling

    It's just nice to have that company, to have that special person. And it feels good to get all those things but also to give all those things, as well. There are many examples of bad relationships and it is very difficult to have a successful relationship. My mom has been divorced twice, my dad three times, my biological father bailed when I was only a few months old, my mother's mother was in a marriage with an alcoholic and abusive husband, the list goes on. Yet I still feel that love is real and that it's something worth looking for.

    Relationships aren't like the movies- they require a lot of work there is no such thing as an easy relationship. Once you get into the patterns of trust and communication it gets easier but you need to constantly keep in touch with one another and talk to one another and work through all the differences that will come up. And in the end it's worth it. We don't fight. Not even once. Because we know how to talk to each other and how to have a calm discussion. We don't agree on everything but if something comes up that we don't agree on we talk about it until we understand each other and then let it go. We're independent, we respect each other, we love and support each other, we care- all kinds of wonderful things that are really nice to share with another person. Every day is a new adventure, what fun stories will we share, where will we go, what things will we see, what will we experience, what new things can we do? It's only boring if you let it become boring.

    Relationships aren't for everyone. I know plenty of people who are Aromantic (don't get romantically attracted to others) and that's fine, it's what makes them happy. So you don't get romance and love, that's just fine just try to stay respectful of the people who do (not that you haven't been, you seemed curious above, not disrespectful). In cases of sex and love it's hard for people of differing view points to really understand each other, but it's good that you're trying, just keep in mind that every one is different and it's not stupid to all people.

    • That all sounds good. But I don't like being tied down to a woman. I will feel smothered and I need my space. Basically, I want to do what I want and answer to noone.

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    • Sounds like he wanted to be with you. Luckily, I am sticking to singlehood.

    • And that's a-okay! So long as you're happy and you're healthy and you're living a life that you're proud of. People can do that single, in fact they do it all the time!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • No, but I think trying to start a relationship out of nothing is stupid. I’ve seen so many people just rush into relationships, instead of actually getting to know the other person, becoming close, and THEN maybe dating.

    Does the idea of spending your life with a girl who you have a great connection with and love being around not sound pretty sweet to you? Having a girlfriend can be just like having a best friend, except you guys are also able to be intimate. And then taking that awesome relationship to the next level -- marriage -- is like a ticket out of loneliness (not that ALL married people are happy, but still).

    I think our pasts definitely influence how we view certain things, like dating and marriage. My parents have been happily married for 20something years, so naturally I’ve always associated marriage with happiness, but I can see why your views are different from mine. I really don’t blame you for not having the desire to date after watching your parents fight and go through a divorce.

    If you’re not at all interested in dating, then that’s totally okay. I think it’d be a good idea to at least try experiencing one date with a girl, though, just for the experience, and maybe also to just confirm your belief that dating’s stupid.

    I personally don't think dating is boring -- I never feel more alive than when I'm on a first date with a guy who gives me butterflies.

    • I also need my space. I'm an introvert as well.

  • Companionship and virtue are reasons. The only thing I want is a virtuous, religious guy.

  • are your parents divorced or or do relationships in your family usually not work out? how about you try it once in your life. what do you have to loose?

    just give dating a try then yoi can say if you like it or not. you dont. its not a feeling that can be described, it must be felt :)

    • My parents are divorced. Most of my families relationship don't work out or end in divorce.

      What do I have to lose? My freedom and independence. I won't try dating ever.

    • hmmm thought so. well then don't ask questions if you don't care. just go on with your independence & single life. easy as pie

  • I've always thought of it as the worst thing ever, but also the best thing ever when it actually works. Unfortunately, the success rate is fairly low. But when it's great, it's great. I don't believe in true love or soulmates, either. But being pair bonded to someone is a pretty fantastic experience. The crappy thing is that it's hard to make last. If it's not for you, it's not for you.

    • I have always wanted to be on my own. I have been this way since I was child. I feel smothered around other people.

    • I like having time to myself as well. I think it's harder for independent people to find someone to match with. But don't count it out entirely. You might meet another independent person who is looking for someone who is cool with it.

    • Who knows what the future could bring..

What Guys Said 2

  • Because emotional and physical intimacy are fun, simple as that.

    • *Is fun rather

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    • Blocked.

  • Man, you got lucky that you only had to witness your parents' fight for 10 years. My parents fought for 30+ years, verbally and physically, almost got a divorce 20 years back. Got back together only because of the children and kept fighting. I was like you except 10 years older, thought single life would serve me just fine, I don't want to repeat my parents' failure.

    But I started a new life in a new country, met new people, hanged out with my friends family and saw a different side of things. How a marriage can be different, how it can be happy, and does not always involve drama.

    Imagine yourself 10-30 years forward, when all your closed ones, friends are married with kids and busy with their family. Where do you see yourself?

    Or perhaps dating is really what your heart desires but because you are scared of getting hurt, that your brain just made up reasons against the idea of dating as a form of self defence?