Why won't he ask me to be his gf?

I have been dating this guy since the start of jan. He is pretty persistent on me, even though the last week or so we have had some little fights. I have not want to have sex yet, that's a small part of it, also just over things I Believe that we are incompatible over but he seems to think not and he is so persistent with me. I tried to end us talking/ dating/ texting/ seeing each other, I tried to be mature being like we can't give each other what we both need and want. so I can't give him the sexual relo basically he wants YET and he can't give me something I need (a trustworthy guy) he makes me feel insecure he has so many girls everywhere insta, fcbk etc. I just don't like it. He said that he is happy to be exclusive with me If that's what I need. why won't he ask me to be his gf? isn't that the logical thing to do? why just "exclusive" since he already said he was being exclusive anyway. He acts and wants me to act like we are in a relationship but why won't he ask me?!


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  • No offense to you, actually all the respect to you as I've been in your shoes, but you're thinking immaturely if you expect him to blatantly ask you to be his ''girlfriend'', you should know better than to expect a grown-up reaction from most people :p.

    Men will play mind games, but never say so much so that they don't get themselves caught in a net that they don't want to be in and yet they still say enough to get us women to shut up. That's exactly what he's doing, he's giving you what you asked for so that he can keep you on his line, he has you hooked, but at the same time he's not giving you exactly what you want so that he can remain in control.

    My advice to you, is free yourself from that hook. He's being childish and it seems like he doesn't respect you enough, unless he has some kind of complex. You haven't really said much about his persona but it seems that even if he does have a complex, it's narcissism and he's not worth your time. Move on, he probably doesn't want to give you the title of his girlfriend because he wants sex. And you shouldn't lower your standards or settle for something sexual if you don't want to. Be stronger than that.

    If eventually he comes back to check on why you've disappeared then take it way more slowly and don't ask for anything serious. In the meantime, start dating other guys. You'll feel relaxed once you finally get him out of your head, just play it cool from now on.

    • wow, you realized he was a narcissist before I even said about his character. yes I believe he is narcissistic hence why I'm trying to resist being with him and I keep pushing him away. however, he won't let me leave. not like threatening but like he draws me back in somehow. its really hard. I tried ignoring him for 2 days but then missed him and contacted him again! I can't seem to let go. don't know how to. I think I'm addicted and I can't break it!

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    • yea I know what you mean, I agree, sometimes its good to hear it from someone else though rather than it just be in my own thoughts, clarifies I'm not crazy. he is the one making me needy being so hot and cold and yet says stuff like why are you being so needy all of a sudden. I'm thinking maybe because you talked to me 24 7 for a month now have suddenly lessened! he did it to me! then wonders why. he always says stuff like miss me? or after an argument he will say I miss u.

    • He has problems of his own, it doesn't mean you should have problems too just because of him. Let him go and let it be. If you can, focus on the bad things about him not the good, soon enough you won't want him anymore, at least maybe not as bad as you want him now. Best of luck!