Does it bother a guy more if he sees that you read his text and didn't reply?

My boyfriend is really pissing me off. He seems to think I can always drop my plans and just see him based off just his schedule. He just sent me a text and I don't even want to talk to him, as it always seems to be at just his convenience.

We both have imessaging, so he can see when I read the text. Would it bother him more if he saw I read it, and didn't reply? Or should I wait to read it for at least an hour?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to tell him that you made other plans, and that next time, he needs to give you some advanced warning.

    Until he has to deal with the consequences of his behavior, he isn't going to change his attitude about expecting you to be at his beck and call. You have to be the one to create those consequences, and you do that by not being available when he doesn't give you any advanced warning. Either he'll start to take you seriously in the future, or he won't, and you'll know he doesn't respect you, and you can then break up with him and find someone who does.


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What Guys Said 3

  • You sound like my ex. Maybe you're different.

    Look, just because he's free and decides that he wants to spend that time with you doesn't mean that he's totally disregarding your plans. Are you even telling him that you had plans? or are you just saying "ok" and dropping your plans without his knowing?

    If it's the latter, just tell him, "oh hey sorry, I already had plans." You can elaborate a little if you want. He's a big boy... I'm sure he'll figure something out that he can do without you.

    Please don't start drama by playing mind games with him? What is it with chicks and mind games?

    • i'm not playing 'games' with him. I just want to show him that I'm not always available just because he happens to find some time. I invited him out 3 consecutive nights on which he said he'll come out because he really wants to see me;all 3 he bailed on. I get that he has plans of his own, but he shouldn't insist that he'll be there when he knows he'll choose to stay in. Makes me pissed, as well as like his little bitch in front of friends. The 3rd night was also after I told how I felt bout it

  • If you're aaabsolutely busy I wouldn't read it. That shit fucks with me even if I know you're busy, and I try hard not to give a shit but it stings haha.

    You should tell him it feels like its just at his convenience. You saying that just sounds like you're brewing something that might crop up later and turn nasty.

    Best of luck

    • thanks! so it would bother you more if you could see that I read it, and didn't reply?

    • sadly yeah, most of the time

      Maybe its a personal thing though, I'm interested to see what others have to say.

What Girls Said 1

  • Your boyfriend thinks that you will drop your plans and see him based off of his schedule because you have allowed him to believe that you will do just that. People treat you only how you allow them to treat you. And I am assuming you have in the past cancelled plans to see him. No guy will respect you when they realize they can disrespect you. Repeat that to yourself a few times. That is precisely why he is disrespecting you NOW. This game playing you're attempting to do is a fairly weak attempt. You would exemplify self respect by flat out addressing the issue to him and expressing how you don't appreciate it nor will you further allow it. Good luck.

    • i never cancelled plans with him. I have went out straight from the shower to see him.. I guess I made myself seem to available. I suppose that's the nice person's downfall :( I did address the issue with him, ironically enough the night before the 3rd consecutive night which he didn't show up, which is why I'm asking this question as I'm really at a loss of what else I can do.

    • Whatever you're talking...getting out of the shower and stuff is irrelevant. What is relevant is the fact that you feel is doing everything according to his own schedule.Its hard to believe that he is your boyfriend and you allow him to stand you up. Talk to him and if that doesn't work,end it.