Are some guys just bad with texting? Ignoring texts?

This guy I'm kind of seeing right now likes to keep pretty active and stay busy. And he can be really bad with texting sometimes. Like sometimes he'll respond to me instantly and then other times I know he's read the text but he doesn't respond til hours later. Meanwhile I can see that he's on Facebook mobile. Should I be concerned by this? Does that mean he's not interested in me? He says he really likes me, but he's kind of a popular guy so I know I'm not the only impotant person in his life really... It feels so sometime-y.


Most Helpful Guy

  • LOTS of guys (most, probably) are lousy when it comes to texting. They'll do it to GET a girl, because they kind of have to, but most guys' texting will fall way off once they're together.

    Guys prefer face-to-face conversations. Remember that guys don't multitask well, so in order to text, he has to stop everything else he is doing and focus on texting. If he's trying to get something done, it's SUPER annoying and frustrating to be interrupted constantly, and to have to mentally switch gears all the time. Our brains are designed to focus on a single task at a time, and work on it until it's finished, and then move on to the next thing. Being interrupted screws that up badly.

    The other thing is: guys don't want to have CONVERSATIONS via text. It's fine to send a short message, or ask a question he can answer with 1-3 words, and be done. It's totally different to ask open questions or try to keep a conversation going via text when he's got other things to do. I've had to fire techs whose wives/girlfriends expected them to text constantly through the day, because the guys refused to put their phones away during work because their girl would get mad at them. I had to make it clear that it simply wasn't tolerated (not only did it interfere with work, but it was also a safety hazard). Some guys had to be fired before they understood that I was really serious.

    Anyway, I strongly advise that girls massively lower their expectations when it comes to guys responding to texts. If something is REALLY important and urgent, you should CALL. Texting, unless the message is VERY brief, should be limited to non-time-sensitive or lower-priority messages, and should NEVER be used to discuss relationship issues - that should ALWAYS be done face-to-face.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • I can't say for sure what his specific deal is, however males in general are not really that big with communication skills, this includes all forms of communication (talking, expressing themselves, writing). The reason for this is that by in large our culture emphasizes the idea that men are creatures of ACTION and not words, this was more popular in the past than it is now, so hopeful as we advance as both a species and a culture this trend might change in the sense that men will begin to understand that everything we used to believe about what it means to be a man was not necessarily true, and that its okay to enhance your communication skills, which will be of a great benefit to women such as yourself.

  • No you shouldn't be. Sometimes I'm jamming and my crush sends a text. I'm technically online since I'm logged in via mobile. I might be curious and have seen her text. But I can't reply because I'm busy. I reply later.

    Similarly many times my crush is busy or trying very hard not to be distracted by Facebook. I'm one of her many distractions. So she also takes hours to reply too. Sometimes she even forgot to reply until 2-3 days later.

    What I found is ... if a person is interested, they will eventually reply. And this lag time in replying, whether by circumstances or done purposefully, can sometimes increase your desire for each other. I advise against doing it purposefully to "play" the other person to want you though. Playing too much usually discourages the other person.

  • Guys and texting just don't go together...unless you see other signs that you should be concerned don't be...try to meet him in person as much as you can...but we do prefer texting to calling usually...precisely because it gives us a chance to answer when we are ready

  • Yes. Lol don't judge sometimes we don't know what to say. It happens lol

  • i don't particularly like texting, if there is something to be said you can call me. If not bye :P

  • Why do girls obsess over texts? Next you'll be asking what he means by the text he sent you.


What Girls Said 3

  • Guys are so annoying when it comes to communication! I have this argument like once a week.

    -hi baby


    -how are you?


    -are you mad ?

    - I haven't heard about you for two days

    -I'm sorry I was busy

    -but a single text saying you're OK or something...?

    -I don't have the phone all the time. You know I don't like texting...

    -@!?)$&& and &@$--!

    -but baby...

    • that's why I don't text trivialities like "good morning" or "hi". I know I'll get irritated because I'm obliged to write something but I have nothing to write about. I don't want my crush to have to experience that.

  • If you start calling him instead of txting, many of your concerns will disappear. You call, you hear his voice, he is letting you know exactly what is going on and you can actually hear in his voice if he is telling the trues or lying. Txting is fun, but it created more problems on a personal level. Txting can be ignored and that became a norm which is not, calling is different. With txting you can take your time responding in a way where he can make you think one thing but in reality he thinks something else. Call eliminates that problem by half, because he has to think on his feet now, rather than later and again you hear his voice and emotions that come with it, can't hear or know that from txts.

    • That's a good point! But I don't want him to think I'm taking things super seriously and calling him and being clingy. Texting makes everything seem so chill

    • Sometime you have to take things into your own hands and do what is right for you rather than him. Start calling him twice a week, that should give you a good indication in a long run, whether he really likes you or not.

  • neeeeeeeeeeeeeedy

Loading... ;